How To Tell Your Boss That You are NOT Happy

If you read my post on Dave’s boss (the creature) and found yourself commiserating with him, you are probably not happy.

How do you tell your boss you are unhappy?

You are unhappy for one of two reasons. You either do not like your job (company, environment, workload, etc.) or you do not like your boss.

If you like your boss and not your job, you should tell your boss how you feel. There is a caveat to that advice. If your boss is unpredictable, yet you still like him, proceed with caution. You need to look for common patterns of behavior. You are looking for a pattern of behavior where your boss is receptive. If you discover this pattern, wait until he is receptive and go in his office and tell the truth.

Don’t get all emotional and do not cry. I hate when people cry after they close my office door. There have been times where I have made people cry. They probably needed to cry and certainly needed to find a new job. I am digressing.

If you have a good relationship with your boss and he is a solid leader and mentor, go talk to him. He wants to hear that you are unhappy. He wants to do something about it. If you are a valuable employee, he wants to do what he can to keep you. He likes you! Seriously. Many people do not believe that their boss might actually appreciate them.

Now you need to be honest with yourself and figure out if you are perceived as a good employee or not. I didn’t say if you “were” a good employee, rather if you are perceived as one. There is a huge difference. It will affect your outcome significantly. If you do not know, find a co-worker who you know will be totally honest with you and ask the question.

If your unhappiness primarily stems from your relationship with your boss, then you have a tougher road to travel. Take a deep breath and release. Get all of the ugly thoughts out of your mind. Cleanse your mind and pretend he is a human being. (Even if there is no empirical evidence)

If you can think rationally about this boss you dislike so much, consider how he would react should you be honest with him.

There are two questions you need to ask yourself:

1. Is there a reasonably good chance that he might listen?

2. Is there even a remote chance that he will respond?

If the answer to #1 and #2 is NO, you need to find a new job. It ain’t gonna get better. Sorry to be so blunt, but the longer you stay the uglier the thoughts will get. This is not good for your health or your career.

If the answer to either #1 or #2 is YES, go out on the edge. Make sure you have your resume updated, but go tell him why you find it difficult to work with him. If you talk to him and you are honest, you will get your answer. He is either somewhat malleable or he will continue to be the impossible creature you have worked with all these years.

The worst thing you can do is to take no action. You need to do something to change your situation. You owe it to yourself.