Wait, Did You Just Hear Your Boss Say Something Positive?Friday, January 20, 2006 Feedback from Your Boss Those of us who have been in management for years often get feedback from employees that we don't give enough feedback. In particular, we do not give enough positive feedback when things are going well. I guess part of the struggle is human nature. We tend to complain to our loved ones, friends and co-workers when things aren't just ducky. However, when things are going well, do we pat each other on the back? Men, do you ever say to your wife, "Gee honey, you have really done a great job cleaning the shower this week." My wife recently got rid of some mildew in our soap tray, which is ceramic tile. Tile is a magnet to mildew and so the grouting was getting black and yucky. I have been saying for months, "Man I need to clean the entire tile in the bathrooms and caulk." Yeah right! Like I really have that high on my priority list. I have light bulbs to replace. That should give you an idea just how long my list is and how far behind I am. The other day Jill said to me, "You didn't notice that I got rid of the black tile in the soap tray. I can admit in this post that I did not notice because I blurted out "No, I'm sorry I didn't, honey." See I am the first to criticize when I think something in the house is not cleaned according to my own unrealistic standards. So I can complain and give negative feedback with no problem. I took an entire shower, looked at that soap tray many times, and never noticed what my wife had done. Yet for months, shower after shower I noticed the ever-growing mildew and darkening soap tray. My lack of observational skills is another topic in itself. Jill can buy me Christmas gifts while we are shopping together - I never notice. Well after my sweet wife told me what she had done and what I had not noticed, I felt like mud. She really worked hard and she was trying to please me. I gave her no positive feedback at all. As a boss, you have to make this positive feedback thing a proactive activity. It really should be no big deal for bosses to make it a habit of praising people when they do a great job. Recognize accomplishments! What is hard for me is that I am not a punitive manager. When things are going not so well, I mentor employees through it, trying not to bring attention to the negative aspect of the performance. I need to do a better job of giving positive feedback and encouragement. I think most bosses need to improve in this area no matter how effective they may be at other aspects of their jobs. That brings me to soliciting for your comments. I would be interested in hearing about how you are (or not) receiving positive feedback. Tell me your good stories and your war stories. You can only help me to get better at what I do, even after 15 years. You will help other bosses who are reading this post as well. Have a great weekend! posted at 1/20/2006 06:03:00 PM |
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Copyright © 2006 Beat Your Own Drum
8 Comments:
My boss sucks! He never cleans my shower!!
Just kidding, he does but I never notice.
Eric:
I bet you saw me coming! :)
My boss is a electro-negativity device.
When things are going ducky as you put it, it is all his doing. When things are in the dumper, it is everyone else's fault.
This week I have had a tremendous workload which I have tackled head-on and produced good work.
After one particular triumph where I had just shown a client a video presentation I had created for them (which they loved), the client was introduced to the boss, where he was told how happy he was with the video.
Later as I sat eating my lunch, the boss walked by. Not a word about the pleased client or my hard work on the video.
What did he say?
"How is that other project coming?"
"I will be working on that after lunch."
"I thought you would have had it all going by now."
"I was finishing the video."
"All morning?"
"No, most of the morning. The rest I was finishing a project that had a 9:00 deadline that I found out about at 8:00."
"Well you should be all over that other project. yatta yatta yatta..."
With him, no success is ever good enough, and every failure elicits a lecture. Lectures that frequently contradict each other.
Lecture 1:
"Why didnt you double check that data to make sure it was correct? There is always time to do it right!"
Lecture 2:
"Dave, why is this project taking so long?"
(Long, here, is not that long btw)
"I am being thorough to make sure the data is accurate."
"What is it that is holding you up? Are you sitting around?"
"I don't sit around. I am following your instructions and taking the time to do it right."
from this the boss lectures about streamlining processes, and says you have done this before, how come it is still taking this long... blah blah blah.
He is under the assumption that because a job has been performed once, that next time a similar job appears, I can wave my trusty Harry Potter wand and complete the project immediately.
His favorite line is "You're not reinventing the wheel every time are you?"
He asks me this all the time. He talks to me like I'm a stupid kid without brain one.
I have pulled off some pretty amazing programming feats for him, and he still treats me like an old raisin in the crack of his shoe.
Some jobs go fast, while others take time, and there is no two ways about it.
It is impossible to win with a boss like that. If I dont check the work and a problem surfaces, I was a slacker that didnt do proper work.
If I do take the time to make sure the work is right, and I uncover a problem and he hears about it (even though I fixed it), I get the "What can we do to make sure this never happens again" crap.
When I take the time to do it right and there is no problem other than his perception that it took too long, I hear the "you took to long" crap.
If I do a good job and quickly and no problems arise, I get the "Why havent you completed this other job yet?" crap.
Here endeth the rant.
Interestingly enough, I've had my first ever employee review. It's nice to work for a traditional company.
It was fantastic. My boss had nothing but good things to say:
I'm an asset . . . my work is very important . . . I'm very well organized . . . I rise to the occasion when there's an extra thrown my way.
Everyone gets along with you. Which is a real plus . . . Don't ever lose that aspect about you. The company is doing better since you've been here.
No negative comments. Most importantly - a raise, 5/6 of the word praise.
Eric... Wow... This post is great! I think it goes even farther than the whole "boss" thing as you mentioned. It is part of your everyday life, marriage, kids, work, etc.
I believe that boss' only criticize when something goes wrong and only wrong. It isn't in any sort of management’s position to reward and point out the "good" in their employees. (If there is, I have never had a boss like that)
My boss has never pulled me aside once a month or whatever and gave me a gold star for a job well done, ever. But he will gladly pull me in his office when I make a human error and threaten my job. There has to be balance.
And with balance I use marriage as an example... When arguing you may say well you did this, that and the other thing which in most cases are all derogatory. But with all of your criticism, you didn't weigh any of them out with good... If you hear good and bad, it becomes easier to take.
I am very willing to take constructive criticism. That is the only way I will become a better "me". But I will not do it at your benefit of putting me down so you, the boss, can feel better...
I saved my company approx $600 (not a lot to them) and barely got a thank you for it... Just got an "oh, ok."
Hope that made some sense!
Be well!
Dave and I must work for the same guy. He described my boss perfectly. ;-)
My personal favorite is when someone pitches an idea to my boss and he dismisses it immediately. "Oh, that will never work!" Then a couple of weeks later, he'll tell everyone about a wonderful idea he came up with that will benefit the company tremendously. Except that it's the idea he dismissed not so long ago. He was confronted about this once and his response was, "Well, you just didn't present it to me very well." Oh, yeah, right. Is it really that painful to say, "I thought about your idea and decided it had merit after all. Good work." Apparently so. However, if it tanks, he'll make sure that everyone knows who REALLY come up with it and what a dumbass he thinks that person is. Bad ideas are never his fault. What a lovely man. :-P
I don't work, but I have a husband who says positive things to me daily about my housekeeping, mommying, or just about me. So a comment like, "Thanks for putting out clean towels." used to make me laugh...why wouldn't I put out clean towels? But now I appreciate each and every comment he makes. It makes me feel appreciated and valued.
My boss doesn't really say much either way--he handles screwups on an even keel, and good performance the same way. I don't really mind, I know if I'm doing a good job or not, and the parents and kids tell me if they like what I'm doing or if I'm particularly helpful (I'm a children's librarian). Sure, it would be nice to get a pat on the back sometimes, but it is also nice that he lets my faults (I'm constantly late) slip by too. And since we're lucky to get the token 3% raise with a library keychain every year, his evaluation of my performance doesn't much matter either -- I could be awesome or suck, and I still would get the same amount of money. Luckily we are professionals who have the inner drive to do well at our job (most of the time, anyways!)
Eric:
Good topic and it is very important for bosses to give positive feedback.
I work for a boss that at times, nothing is good enough and it is very difficult to please him.
One of the ways that I've found to work around this is to "create compliments for yourself" and point them out to him.
i.e. "So you believe that the work was great, you just wish it would have been done 2 weeks ago? Great, because I believe the work is great too and I'm glad you respect my work!"
He usually looks confused for a moment and I move us on to the next topic, having received an indirect compliment.
-LOL
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