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Wednesday, October 08, 2008Armpit AngstI am really going to lay myself bare here. Almost literally. My armpits are itchy. Not just your average, after-the-shave, I'm-feeling-a-little-sweaty itch. I'm talking an all-out, wall-climbing, digging-the-flesh-from-my-frame-with-angry-fingertips itching. I was awake three times during the night scratching my armpits like a heretofore-undiscovered rabid mammal. It all began when my body decided it didn't like the all-natural deodorant I'd been using. Notice I said "all natural." This is actually the third all-natural deodorant that has made my armpits unhappy. It flies against an earth mama's reason, but there you have it. Being unwilling to stink, I put off going deodorant-free for longer than I should have. When I finally got to the point where the itching seemed far more undesirable than the potential for midday body odor, I tossed pride out the window and stopped using the deodorant. I figured it would take three or four days for the itching to clear up. That was three weeks ago. The good news is that I don't stink. (No, really. I've checked.) But the itching (from a barely-visible rash, I might add) has been increasing exponentially. And last night's agony compelled me to do a little research this morning. Time for some self-diagnosis, you know. Eric, of course, wants me to fly to the nearest dermatologist. My response? Not in this lifetime. Can you just see it? "Hi, my armpits itch. Can you help me out?" And I'd end up with some nasty prescription cream with an accordion-folded, eighteen-inch-long warning label attached to it, and I wouldn't use it. So. I'm not showing my armpits to anyone. Happily, I'm fairly certain I'm on the trail of a right diagnosis. There's a high likelihood that I'm suffering from a yeast infection. Good ol' candida, camping out in my armpits. The first bit of advice I read sounded good to me -- raw, unfiltered apple cider. I already know that the stuff is marvelous. We should all have a little bit every day. Why not share the love with my armpits? I dashed a chug into a bowl and added some filtered water. Then, as my delighted children ate their lunch, I bathed my armpits with the diluted vinegar. Boy, do I smell good. I can hardly wait until Eric comes home tonight. What more could he want than a wife redolent of raw vinegar? Gives a whole new meaning to "hippie." I'm beyond caring what I smell like, though. I don't think I can live through another night of itching. I was mildly surprised this morning to discover that the bedsheets weren't spattered with fresh blood. I might not be so lucky a second time. So I've got a "plan B" to go after, should the vinegar not suffice. I've read -- and I'm willing to believe -- that Lotrimin works on armpit yeast infections. That's right. Jock itch under my arms. The next time Eric comes home from work, I will smell like a testicle. It could be that I'm just getting old. I've heard that itching is one of the strange side effects of menopause. And that old people tend to itch more. I don't know. I'd like to think it's a yeast infection and leave it at that. So wish me luck with the vinegar. And if you don't want to tell anyone that you know me, I completely understand. Labels: holistic health, life, stinky stuff |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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8of my readers are feeling chatty:
Yes, you can use Lotrimin. My Mamaw used to get yeast under her breast and the yeast creams always cleared it right up.
Lotramin cream works well for little boys diaper rash too... when it's yeasty... so go for it.
Of course, don't come here and hug me until you do... I don't wanna smell like vinegar!
maybe its time to start thinking about changing that picture of you on top of your page...just kidding
Oh boy! I am just getting into some all natural and fair trade products. never thought they'd cause any type of reaction...guess I was wrong!
Hope you feel better soon!
Tamika
For years (in the US) I used Secret anti-perspirant. Then for years I couldn't use it, but only because I was living in a part of the Philippines that didn't sell imported stuff from the US. Then I moved to Metro Manila and was so excited to be able to buy Secret again... Only to discover that I had somehow become allergic to it. What gives?!
I hope your armpits are feeling much better now!
I am LOL at the comment made about changing your picture at the top! LOL!!!
Seriously ... praying the vinegar works, I hate for you to have to smell like a testicle! LOL!
LOL! Sorry but the testicle comment really made me giggle. I hope that the vinegar works. And incidentally, since I do come from "the armpit"...Lotrimin should do the trick.
Okay Jill...you make me laugh so hard! I hope the armpits are better.
Did your poor Maggie tell you that she sat in the ice rink lobby waiting for us last night because she didn't know where Meg's party was? Oh, I could have cried for her. Give her a hug for me because I don't think she would have appreciated one from me...but you might wait until the armpits clear up :).
Cindy
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