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Thursday, February 07, 2008Vinegar Milk"Mommy," said Spencer over breakfast this morning, "on New Year's Day we should have had vinegar milk." Silence. It pays not to respond too quickly to odd things. For one thing, Spencer tends to be a bit sensitive. For another, it's likely I've not heard him correctly. And since I had absolutely no idea what he meant, I didn't say anything. Maggie came to the rescue. "Vinegar milk?" "No, I said vanilla milk." I smiled. "No, you said vinegar milk." "No, I said vanilla milk." The words were spoken as if they were straight from the Gospels. No arguing. No negotiating. Spencer hath spoken. "Spencer, we both heard you. You said vinegar milk." "I said vanilla milk! You're contradicting me!" Love is patient, love is kind. I took a deep breath. "Spencer, it's okay. Sometimes our brains think of one word but our mouths say another. It happens to everyone." "I. Said. Vanilla. Milk." "Spencer, you said vinegar milk!" "I-said-VANILLA-MILK! You all need to clean your ears out!" "Spencer, Mommy and I both heard you say vinegar," Maggie joined in. Spencer growled, clenched his fists, rose from his seat, and ran away from the kitchen table. "I said VANILLA MILK!" he called from the stairs. Stomp. Stomp. Stomp. "CONTRADICTORS!!" It took a valiant effort not to backsnort my coffee. Not having been the least bit chastened by the derogatory title (which sounds like it could be the latest action film), I was in the midst of belly laughing over the scene that had just unfolded, when Spencer suddenly reappeared in the kitchen. Sotto voce: "I said vanilla milk." I turned to my left, where Spencer had silently approached. He stood, jaw taut, eyes piercing mine, holding a ballpoint pen with locked arms, like an impotent assault weapon, two inches from my nose. This was getting weird. There's passion, and there's absurdity...and then there's blatant disrespect of one's elders. So, upon pain of a day-long grounding, I put an end to the vinegar/vanilla debate. Note to self: Pick your battles. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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8of my readers are feeling chatty:
OK, this one made me laugh out loud. I'm still laughing. Thanks, Jill.
I don't know...I've had similar arguments like that over the years with Spencer's Mommy...minus the pen.
;o)
Well my sister stabbed me in the mouth with a pencil when I contradicted, well...maybe teased her.
Yes, Spencer my son never fails to make us laugh, cry and sometimes engendering concern over his odd comments.
He is a good kid with passion - sometimes wild. I laughed so hard when I read the part where he said "You all need to get your ears cleaned." With his wax problem, he only hears one in ten words that I speak to him.
Wonderful, dear, I felt like I was there.
Yes I remember that weapon! I was even thinking of pointing a knife straight up as a threat! NO JOKE! Anyway, lets get some milk, and put vinegar in it and mix it up!
:)
We hear stuff like this from the Bear:
"I absolutely spilled milk on the carpet."
"I didn't respect to see that."
"Give me a nermal hot dog without mustard on it."
My favorite is when he sings the "Space Jam" song:
"I could believe I could fly"
oh... I almost forgot his version the Alvin and the Chipmunks thing:
"Chicka Baby WA WA" :D
I find this cute and funny! :D
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