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Thursday, February 21, 2008Another "Kitchen Ditz" MomentI'm not sure I should even tell this story. You may lose any shred of respect you might have had for me. Ah, well. What's life if not a vehicle for making others laugh at me? So. I decided to roast a turkey breast and mash some Yukon Golds for supper. Naturally, turkey isn't turkey without some homemade gravy. And since Spencer had specifically requested the gravy, I poured the fats and juices from the roasting pan and mixed together some cornstarch and milk so that my thickening agent would be ready as soon as the gravy came to a boil. As I've done dozens of times before, I began to slowly drizzle the cornstarch mixture into the boiling liquid, stirring all the while. It doesn't take long for gravy to thicken, and cornstarch makes it nice and smooth -- not lumpy like flour sometimes does. Funny, though. This time it wasn't thickening quickly. In fact, it didn't seem to be thickening at all. I added more. Stirred more. A full three-fourths of the mixture had been added and my gravy was still thin as milk. That's when I got just the tiniest bit suspicious. "What's wrong?" Eric peered over my shoulder. "Ur. My gravy's not thickening. I'm wondering..." I picked up the cornstarch container. "I'm wondering..." "It's not cornstarch?" I wasn't looking at his face but I could hear the smirk in his voice. "I'm not sure." I peered into the container, shook it around a bit. Sniffed it. Then I dipped one nervous finger into the white stuff and touched it to the tip of my tongue. "Oh, no." I put down the container and closed my eyes. It was powdered sugar. "Let's go have a glass of wine," Eric said. He was still smirking. Having a glass of wine wasn't going to solve the problem of my having used up every bit of turkey drippings for the gravy-that-is-now-a-meat-flavored-dessert-sauce. But upon taking those few minutes to compose myself, I came up with the brilliant plan of adding some flour to thicken the gravy and serving it up, anyway. I mean, who would know? So I thickened the gravy and slopped it into the gravy boat. "Hey," said Spencer as we filled our plates. "The gravy tastes sweet!" "Oh, does it?" I tried to look casual. "Yeah! But it still tastes good." Oh, good. Then it was Rachel's turn. "Does the gravy have sugar in it or something?" Okay, I had taken my children for a pack of palate-less fools. There was no way I could pull this one off and get away with it. I was fried. So I came clean. Told all. I could see Jonathan's brain storing the information for use against me later. And Eric was still smirking. That's what I get for not labeling my Tupperware containers. Gravy, anyone? |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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10of my readers are feeling chatty:
Wait...wait...wait!!! You have GOT to tell Janet this one! After her zucchini bread mix up at your house!
Not sure which story is funnier. Probably Janet's...due to her whining!
LOL!
i was thinking the same thing, no labels yet since the zucchini bread mess...what are you waiting for? it's not like you have 5 kids or something!
ROFL! I was thinking about the zucchini bread as I read too! I think someone needs a P-touch! :-D
Oh the memories this brings back. NOTHING, I repeat... NOTHING in our house was ever labelled correctly. It was a basic crap-shoot opening a container.
A 5-pound container of wheat was sure to be powdered milk, the christmas present in the computer box, a nice warm sweater, etc.
It brings fond memories of our dear departed mother.
I think I'd have just told everybody it was sweet because I'd made it with extra love. Or something. ;D
This made me smile. Don't worry I have some orange powder that must be some sort of cheese sauce...but I don't really know what other spices are in it...scared to try it.
LMSO! Didn't your sweet Mother experience something similar while baking at the Boehme house? LMSO!
I had a similar experience while making Alfredo Sauce last year. I was trying so hard to make a special Valentines Day dinner for my family. I ran to the grocery store while Clinton was at drum lessons and picked up some cream to make my sauce. They only had a small carton, so I grabbed 2.
When I got home, I made my sauce the usual way and it looked great. Only after dumping it on my pasta and tasting it did I realize I had bought sweetened whipping cream. The sauce was ruined! HORRORS!
We lived, but I double check what I'm buying from now on!
What's so funny? :D Gravy here in the Philippines is always sweet. Seriously! Tell people you were trying out an Asian-style gravy. ;)
OMG! I'm CRACKING up! Jill, you are hilarious.
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