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Tuesday, November 20, 2007Taking a Back Seat To TechnologyI take my marriage vows seriously. Naturally there's been more "worse" of "for better or for worse" than I would have liked to believe back when I sauntered down the aisle. That's life, and we either move on and continue to grow in love, or everything falls apart. Right? Right. And while it's true that I've never had to contend with "another woman," I now find myself contending with something almost equally threatening: Eric's Macbook Pro. It's beyond trying to get his attention while his eyes are glued to the screen. It's beyond begging him to put it away and come to bed already. For you see, I have been physically displaced by Macboy. It happened a few evenings ago. Eric came home early from work especially so that we'd have time to go grab a beer and a cider at our favorite pub before Molly's 6:30 nursing. I was ready to go when he arrived, down to my leather boots, which I haven't worn since pregnancy first threw me off balance. I clunked my way across the driveway toward the door on my side of the car. And that's when Eric stopped me. "Oh," he said, sounding a bit sheepish. "You're going to have to sit in the back. Macboy's in the front." Dumbfounded, I stopped in my tracks and gazed through the side window. There, propped lovingly on what was supposed to be my seat, was the Macbook, its monitor angled for perfect viewing from the driver's seat. He absolutely had to be kidding. The lure of a half pint of cider being stronger than my indignation, I slid into the back seat without arguing. Eric's lame explanation about being in the middle of downloading this-or-that did nothing to take away the sting of having been dethroned by a laptop. "You know, if we were dating right now, there is no way you would make me sit back here." Granted, comments like that never accomplish much, but I was too flabbergasted to say anything remotely sharp-witted. I watched helplessly as my husband caressed Macboy's mouse and carefully balanced the time he spent gazing at the screen and actually driving the car. I can't remember the last time he caressed me and fought to tear his gaze from mine while driving. Heck, I'm not even sure it happened in the first place. I think I've always preferred that Eric keep his eyes on the road while we're moving upward of forty miles per hour. And so I entered McCreary's in a state of disgrace -- Queen Catherine following quietly behind Anne Boleyn. The entire date was centered on MacBoy. Granted, Eric was setting up a new Paypal account for me (and that, I am sure, is his primary defense of the evening). But you know, it's a perfect cover when you think about it: "I'll tell my wife that I'm busy doing work for her while I make passionate love to you, Mac." So I sipped my cider and nibbled my chips while Eric's face shone softly in the glow of the monitor. It was almost time to leave when Eric finally shut Macboy down and slipped him into his canvas bag. And you'd better believe I sat in the front seat on the way home. There you have it. I've lost my place in the pecking order and I don't know how to get it back. I suppose I could drop MacBoy from my third story office window, but it would be awfully hard to make that look like an accident. Besides, Eric does spend a lot of time doing intelligent things on Macboy while I doze off in the early evenings, which makes me appear far less useful in comparison. When it's all said and done, I suppose I should hang in there. We all know what happened to Anne Boleyn in the end. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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10of my readers are feeling chatty:
Throw it out the third story window? I would have thrown it out the car window as he was driving 40mph. And then gracefully crawled into the front seat to take my rightful place.
LOLOL!!! Oh my gosh, that is quite possibly the funniest thing I have *ever* read!!
I can't believe he made you sit in the back seat!!!!
Now that's a man who's really secure in his wife's love. ;-)
I'm sorry Jill, it is all over for you. First the iPod, now the MacBook. What's next? Eric will grow a goatee, get thin rimmed glasses and ask you if turtlenecks and jeans make him look entrepreneurial. One day you will wake up, roll over in bed and discover Steve Jobs!
Fight back now! Use Microsoft slogans wherever possible. Before he gets into the car ask him "Where do you want to go today?" or say "Your Potenital, Our Passion" as he is going to work. I am sure you kind find many good uses for "The Wow starts Now" or "It's better with the Butterfly"
Come to think of it, if you do all that, he will probably just buy more Macs.
Now I am thinking about buying a Mac....
Dearest,
MacBoy was installing the latest operating system. Would you want to be moved during an operation?
Besides, I don't remember you being with me that night...
Hmmm.
Eric,
If you need a place to stay, our door is always open to you.
By the way, did you consider Lisa as a name for your new adorable baby girl?
LOL sorry but I am laughing AT you not with you, LOL
I have yet to give up my seat to Big Bertha the golf club but I could see it happening.
Happy Thanksgiving, Jillian and family! :o)
(((Jill)))
Let's hope Mac takes a holiday today and doesn't take your seat at the table today.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving!
LMSO!!!! Jill, do NOT... I repeat...do NOT read your husband's comment. Oh my goodness... he will be in the dog house for sure. Wait, you don't have a dog. Jonathan will have to build one then! :0)
xo
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