|
|
Wednesday, May 09, 2007The Invisible "Said"Time for a Writer's Rant. Recently, Nathan Bransford, whom I admire and whose blog I adore, blogged about the use of the word said when writing dialogue. He offered two examples of dialogue -- one that used the word "said" repeatedly and one that used "said replacements" instead. Then he asked his readers which one they preferred. I didn't like either one of them. (Sorry, Nathan.) Now, if forced to choose between the two, I'd go with the string of "saids," hands down. In my opinion, using "said replacements" is a sure sign of the amateur writer. Or maybe it's just bad writing, period. So allow me to offer my own examples of good tags/bad tags in dialogue, and to invite my reading and writing readers (yikes) to offer comments and opinions: Example One: Use of Repeated "Said:" "What's going on?" Nathan said. "Nothing," Genevieve said. "It looks like more than nothing to me," he said. "That's your opinion," she said. "It's a fact," he said. "It sounds like you don't trust me," she said. "I don't," he said. Example Two: Use of Ridiculous "Said Replacements:" "What's going on?" Nathan asked. "Nothing," Genevieve hissed. "It looks like more than nothing to me," he replied. "That's your opinion," she retorted. "It's a fact," he stated. "It sounds like you don't trust me," she accused. "I don't," he spat. So. If asked to choose between the above examples, which one flips your cookie? Hard call? Well, what if I offer a third choice -- a choice with limited use of "said," no ridiculous replacements, and a little bit of action in between the dialogue? (Disclaimer: I'm writing these examples off the cuff. This is not deathless prose.) "What's going on?" Nathan said. "Nothing." Genevieve looked away. "It looks like more than nothing to me." "That's your opinion." "It's a fact," Nathan said, his voice rising. Genevieve's eyes snapped back into focus. "It sounds like you don't trust me." "I don't." Anyway, there you have it. No "he said, she said" in an endless string, and no strained verbs posing as "said." Not a perfectly written example, but you get my drift. Having said all that, I do believe there's a time and a place for a well chosen "said replacement" verb now and again. Sometimes our character may actually have to "whisper" or "shout," or he might even "bellow" or "cry." But he'd better not be doing these things on every page. "Said" is, ultimately, the perfect "invisible" word -- meaning, of course, that readers don't really see it while they're reading. (Unless, of, course, there's an entire string of "said" similar to my first example.) The replacement verbs are far more intrusive, distracting. So they should be used sparingly. Like exotic spices or expensive perfume. A little dab'll do ya. Rant over. "Please feel free to leave insightful comments," she declared! Labels: writing |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
|
7of my readers are feeling chatty:
You took the words out of my mouth. But I will repeat them anyway. I so agree it is much better to avoid replacements, said is invisible and doesn't disturb the dialougue.. which is the focus. Better to just let that roll on instead of having the characters hiss, scream, cry and bellow at me while I am trying to read my book
That was how I felt, too. "Where's option C, Nathan, please?"
It's not so clear-cut as all that, and I have a feeling there are a lot of less experienced writers out there busily changing EVERYthing over to said.
I like the third option.
I think I've read enough books to know that generally when something is in quotations, somebody's saying something. I'm not so stupid that I need the author to tell me he said, she said, it said over and over. That's insulting.
If the dialogue is good enough, I don't need the hissing or retorts constantly, either. What the characters are saying to one another can convey all that without the extra folderol.
In my opinion, anyway. :)
I wish there was an option C with my kids - they bellow, cry, cajole, shout and rant all darn day.
:-D
LOL Kerrie! Oh, that we could "edit" our children. :)
Susan -- good point about inexperienced writers. When you're hard at work on your Very First Novel, you tend to go into "panic mode" at times like this. I think there's a definite balance to strike with this "tag" stuff, and the more one writes and the more one READS GOOD WRITING, the more natural the whole thing will become.
Hopefully, anyway. :)
>> clap clap clap << WOO HOO!
Saids and beats are definitely the way to go.
The Bear has a really crappy book where it used the speaker attribution "they gargled". >>Shudder<<
From behind the couch Gerald spotted the missing mountain lion. "AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" He gargled.
Furniture flew, lamps toppled, the neighbors called 9-1-1, yet the Suns game continued throughout the rending.
At long last the beast departed. A little fatter, and wondering how the heck that fat Suns fan "gargled" his scream.
I personally like the third option best! The other two annoy the heck out of me...
Post a Comment
<< Home