|
|
Monday, May 07, 2007I Just Don't Wanna Do ItI've always been a devoted ballet mom. You all know this because I've waxed poetic about my daughters' dancing and my burning passion and support for it in the past (hopefully not ad nauseum). But I've snapped. You crafty types won't understand, but what I've been asked to do this time is so outside of my natural ability and temperament that I'm seriously unable to approach it without severe angst and resentment. I have to glue one hundred gemstones onto Maggie's tutu. No, really, that's it. One hundred gemstones. A mere drop in the bucket for seasoned seamstresses and costume-makers, but for me? Chinese water torture. Unfair and inhumane treatment. Just plain Wrong. Because I. Don't. Glue. Things. Not even when they break. Not even when it would only take a second. I've had the dang gemstones for over a week. The dress rehearsal is on May 17. And I haven't glued a single thing. Not one. Everything in me writhes whenever I think about it. I look at my daughter's beautiful costume, all smashed inside its plastic bag like so much commercial cotton candy, and I snarl. I seriously can't get over my anti-glue hurdle, and I'm running out of time. "It will make a wonderful mother-daughter activity!" the Ballet Mom In Charge piped. I have a better idea -- how about a wonderful daughter-and-her-sister activity? Because even if I sit down with Maggie and make her help me with the glue job, the fact remains that I still have to sit there and glue the other half, not to mention run out and buy a bottle of tacky glue in the first place -- yeah, the stuff that folks who actually know how to make things buy. "What really works," said the lady at the dance store the other day, "is a toothpick. You just put the tiniest dab of glue on the end of the toothpick and it will be just enough to hold the gemstone on the fabric." Lady, that's well and good, but I don't do tiny dabs of anything on the end of a toothpick. Unless it's a particularly delicate hors d'oeuvre making its way to my mouth. This is killing me. I'd rather clean the urinals in a public bathroom. For no pay. Please don't give me any advice on how to do this stupid project. If you really love me, send me a self-addressed, stamped envelope via private courier, and I will send you the tutu and the cursed gemstones, and you can do the gluing for me. I will be forever in your debt. I'll even send you a free ticket to the performance. I know. All for the sake of art. They're doing a scaled-down version of Sleeping Beauty after all, and my very small contribution pales in comparison to the amount of work that others are putting in. Still. I think that moms who are required to glue things should get a discount on the monthly tuition. Or at least a box of chocolate at the end of the season. A very large box. Okay, I'm done. For now. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
|
11of my readers are feeling chatty:
I hear you. Did I mention that my children's scrap books are as follows:
B - I am through her first year, 2nd year of life is sitting in a tupperware bowl carefully thrown together and labelled "B, 2yo, scrap me please"
K - I have her birth announcements sitting in a box with 37c stamps on them, her scrap book is done 1/2 way through the first year
C & J - their scrap books are still in the plastic wrapping.
X - what scrap book?
Girlfriend, you are seriously warped if you'd rather clean urinals than play with tacky glue!
I'll gleefully glue your tutu if you come clean my urina... er my kids' bathrooms! :-D
Funny...as I was reading this I thought to myself, "Too bad you don't live closer to Kerrie...she'd help and probably consider it relaxing!" I am more like you. I think I'd hire someone to do it for me. Surely one of those ballet moms needs a little extra money!
Oh oh! I will glut it for you! I love glue! The more powerful the better.
Only downside is your tutu might come back with a Kirsti attached to it. I always glue myself..
The feeling you describe is one I know all too well.
The thing I hate about it, is that it stops me doing things that I WANT to do.
I'd offer to help, but then they'd have to call someone to get the dress unstuck from the table, and your daughter would look like she sat on a bag of M&M's.
Me not craftyish.
I would do it for you. =( Really, I would! But I am on an entirely different continent. =( P.S. I replied to your comment on my blog. =)
LOL, nope, don't like doing tedious things like that so it wouldn't quite relax me - but if it gets me out of potty scrubbing bring it on! ;-)
I looked at my daughter's dance instructor and said about her costume, "I'm not going to have to SEW anything to get it to fit, am I?"
She laughed at my terror.
I feel your pain!
Wish I could lend a hand...
Found you via Iris' blog. Thought I'd say hello. As a writer, you might be interested in my other site, Light for the Writer's Soul at http://victoriagaines.com
God bless your week!
Give it to the Fed Ex guy and have him express it to me. I'll get it done and send it right back. I'm good with glue.
I have some advice for you....
;-)
Get Spencer to get out his masking tape, have him double it up and wrap it around her tutu. Then have him roll the skirt in the gems. I'm sure he'd love to do that for his mom, just make sure to buy him more tape to replenish his supply!
Post a Comment
<< Home