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Monday, April 16, 2007Stupid QuestionsI tell my children that questions are good. It's how we learn. If we don't ask, we don't get answers. Right. Maybe it's my pregnancy hormones, but over the last few days I've had precious little patience for Questions That Should Not Have Been Asked. Scenario One: Eric and I went to Toys R Us to register for baby gear. There's a kind of a rush involved in aiming the rectangular zapper (a twenty-first-century version of a medical tricorder) at much-needed merchandise and not spending a dime. Of course, the trick is to first overcome the frustration of getting the whole thing set up at the customer service desk. I rose to the task to spare Eric the pain -- after all, he was good enough to agree to come in the first place. Miss Customer Service was (slowly) taking care of things. And in the midst of her rambly explanation of the system, she looked up at Eric and me and said, "Are you married?" Now, I know that enough couples "do things backwards" these days that hardly anyone blinks an eye. But seriously -- Eric and I are way married. Eighteen years of it, and I'm sure it shows. We wear big, fat wedding bands. We're not young, boho lovebirds who can't keep our hands to ourselves. We're....well, yeah, married. And I answered the poor gal with such incredulity in my voice that she was taken aback. "Well..." is all she mustered in the way of a response. The implication being, of course, "Not everybody is." Use your eyeballs, girlie. We're the epitome of Old Married Couple. Scenario Two: I returned to Toys R Us this morning to add a few more things to the registry (which was annoying to begin with, since the stuff I wanted to add wasn't on the web site). When I'd finished making my choices, I was given into the care of a customer-service-gal-in-training who didn't quite understand the system. Gal Number One gave her some instructions about finding my name on the computer. After a minute or so, the new gal looked up from her monitor and said, "Are you Brittany?" "No, it's Boehme," I said. "Jill Boehme." Pause. "That's B-O-N-E?" Hello. My last name was clearly displayed across the top of the medical tricorder. It did not say "Bone." I spelled my admittedly unusual name for the poor girl, who frowned and shook her head as though my response made absolutely no sense to her. Why do people like this work at customer services desks? Scenario Three: And I've saved the Biggest Stupid Question for last. It happened on Friday while I was at my midwife's. Sadly, I didn't get to see her this time. The midwifery practice is affiliated with a hospital that happens to be a teaching hospital, so it's crawling with embryonic nurslings and doctors-in-training and a slew of medical student-types at various stages of their grasp for a degree. Seeing one of them from time to time is a given. You get over it. So in walks a woman who introduces herself as a soon-to-be-real-nurse. This was strange enough, since usually the interns at the midwifery practice are training to be -- well, midwives. Last month I met an incredible gal who is going to make an awesome midwife some day. But I digress. After offering a clammy hand for me to shake, Ms. Pre-nurse looked me up and down and said, "So. Gaining weight?" If that isn't the stupidest opening question in the examination room of a midwifery practice, I don't know what is. I think my jaw audibly hit the floor. And it didn't get any better from there. Her next question was, "Is this your first baby?" Had she spent even twenty seconds perusing the small chart in her hands, she would have immediately discerned that this was, in fact, my fifth child. Hadn't she learned anything in nursing school? Step one: Glance over the patient's chart before you enter the examining room. She must have slept through that particular class. I wish I would have had the opportunity to evaluate her. I'd have given her a zero on bedside manner. I'm not even sure why she's interested in working in a people-care profession. She absolutely stank. Blame the pregnancy if you will, but my tolerance for stupid questions and a general lack of people skills is at an all-time low. Don't stick me in a room or at a counter with someone who doesn't know how to smoothly interact with the rest of the human race. As my belly expands and my lung capacity decreases, it's only going to get worse. Maybe I'd better let Eric do all the talking for a while. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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8of my readers are feeling chatty:
I'm thinking it might not be the pregnancy. I've seen you lose patience with people who asked stupid questions many times;o)
I swear, there's something about pregnancy that spurs people to ask even dumber questions than they normally would.
It might not be your pregnancy. Cause those were truly stupid questions. LOL.
Not to get on the bad side of your hormones, Jill, but in regards to the nurse's questions...
Actually, nursing step one is to glance at the chart AND ask seemingly stupid questions of the person they are faced with. The charts do not have pictures, so they must definitively establish that the person in the room matches the person on the chart. Also, multiple nurses, trainees, receptionists, and doctors touch charts. Each nurse is trained to ask these questions of a patient a million times to make sure there are no discrepancies between what is written and what is said. That way, the proper care, information, medication and so forth is given to the correct person. A name on a chart folder or page is no verification that the information contained within is correct, and it is essential to establish -- especially if it is that care giver's first time with the patient - that everything matches up correctly. You may find it annoying, but a mistake can be deadly.
Hey Jerry,
I do understand what you're saying, but I think you're missing my point:
You DON'T open a discussion with a pregnant woman by saying, "Gaining weight?" It was socially inept and unprofessional. I got the clear sense that she simply couldn't think of anything else to say. ("How are you feeling?" would have been a good choice.)
Two, in a midwifery practice, pregnant women are NOT considered "patients." We therefore do not want to be treated like patients. That is why we are there. The midwifery philosophy is that pregnancy is natural, normal, and is NOT an illness. We are not called "patients." That's why we're there. We don't want to be patients. It's completely (completely!!) different from seeing an obstetrician, which I did for my first four pregnancies. I would never, never go back.
I'm with you on the zero tolerence thing... of course it might be the pregnancy in my case too! My favorite is when I"m working and someone looks at me and says "do you work here?" No I'm just carrying 10 copies of the same book around for a little muscle building workout!
Munchkinhead
Oh my freaking gosh!!!!! I laughed so hard when I read, "She stank." If I only I could have been there to see the expression on your face during all of this...
And then... "Don't stick me in a room or at a counter with someone who doesn't know how to smoothly interact with the rest of the human race."
Honey, that's my every day living motto! I have ZERO patience for it anymore! ZERO! I'm not even pregnant!
So, how much weight are you gaining?? Wet noodles are coming my way...I can feel them!
"So, how much weight are you gaining?? Wet noodles are coming my way...I can feel them!"
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! Oh! Oh! Oh, that hurt. :-D
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