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Friday, March 02, 2007How To Make A Story BetterSeveral months ago, I handed the then-second draft of my current novel to the son of a dear friend of mine. Nicholas is twelve years old, an avid reader of science fiction and fantasy, and he's in my "target audience." I thought it would be a good idea to get some feedback from somebody other than my own children. Last Friday, I finally got a chance to sit down with Nicholas and discuss his thoughts on my novel. "I liked the story," he began, "but some parts were a little boring." Do tell. I smiled and waited for him to continue. "Well, I think there needs to be more action and, like, blood and stuff. Like when he throws that woman, you know?" (Editor's note: There is no "woman throwing" in my novel. I have no idea what he was talking about.) "Well, you should describe how she gets hurt and all the blood and stuff." This was getting interesting. I asked Nicholas to continue. "Well, I think that they should all carry weapons. And I think that Kate should stab him in the heart with a big knife, and he should stagger back and go, 'Aaaaaaaaaaa,' like that. You know." Right. And here I thought I was writing young adult fantasy, when all along it was a horror story just waiting to break out. "So, what you're saying, Nicholas, is that my story needs more BLOOD." Nicholas laughed. "Yeah." Okay, maybe I didn't exactly pick the right beta reader. Nicholas and I began to talk about the books he's read recently, and they are definitely of the bloody, limb-severing type. I mean, the kid has read both Eragon and Eldest. Now, I thought Eragon was a dreadful display of immature, rambling prose, with no less than three episodes of broken bones for the unfortunate protagonist, and a slew of beheadings, stabbings, dragon-munchings, and various other gory deaths. Nicholas also enjoys reading psychological thrillers -- one of which evidently included a chainsaw murderer. Yep. Lots of blood in the pages of Nicholas's reading history. "Well," I told him, "it's easy enough to add more action, shorten dialogue where it's too boring, and things like that." (I carefully refrained from mentioning the addition of extra blood, since it's not on my agenda.) "But I want to ask you an important question." I then proceeded to ask Nicholas if my ending had surprised him, or if he had guessed it ahead of time. "No, I was totally surprised," he said. "I suspected..." And he went on to explain who he had suspected and why. Success! That's what I really wanted to hear. Bleeding, dying characters aside, the one thing I want to be sure I've got nailed is my ability to throw my readers off so that the climax really makes them say, "Wow!" Nicholas is a tough cookie, and if I was able to pull it off with him, well, the possibilities are endless. I had already finished my third draft before chatting with Nicholas (sans extra blood, I'm afraid), and I think I've remedied some of the parts that he probably found a bit too slow. Except, I think I'd better find a less blood-minded reader for this draft. He did praise the one death scene in my book, though: "That was cool." Words of high praise from a bloodthirsty twelve-year-old. (He's an awesome kid, by the way. I knew it was going to be an enlightening experience to listen to his views on my story, and I wasn't disappointed in the least. I just had to be careful not to let him see how amused I was.) So. I'm in the midst of chapter 4 of Book Two, and find myself wondering, whose arm should I twist off? Who should get stabbed in the stomach? How many characters can I kill off without losing plausibility? What sounds does a person make while he's being strangled? Then again, maybe I'll just stick to my original plan. I'll leave the bloody tales to someone else. Labels: writing |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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9of my readers are feeling chatty:
Sucess!!
Umm.. it sounds like Nicholas could probably tell you what sounds a strangling person makes... or maybe you could just kill off that character with a chainsaw instead... Bbbbuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
:-D
Very cool!
Possible future novels that Nicholas might go for:
The Narnian ChainMail Massacre Part XIII
Mindless Babble: The story of a Beheading
Pokes vs. Jabs: The art of effective knife wounds
Three Nuns on a Pike
The Flaying of Peter the Weasel
Boys are weird...that's all I can say about that.
Dave bought me "Eragon" for Christmas. I am totally not into "fantasy", but I really enjoyed the book. I just finished "Eldest" today, and liked it too. In this case, I am glad I'm not a writer. Dave has a hard time enjoying books, because he is constantly critiquing them in his mind. I, on the other hand, am happily ignorant! I was amazed when I found out Paolini was only 15!
In case you're wondering if I am Schitzoid... DramaMama typed that on my computer. ;)
Hurray for stories that surprise readers (make them say, "wow") and their writers! Congratulations. =) Don't forget to let me know when I can buy your book here in the Philippines.
LOL Kerrie and Dave!
And yes, Dave, I knew that second comment was from dear Erica. Took me a moment or two, but I was able to work through it. :)
Erica, I critique all the time, too, but find myself critiquing far less, if at all, when the book is truly well written. Christopher Paolini, alas, is not a good writer. He has HUGE potential, mind you; but his books should not have been published. He wasn't ready. He's got the makings of a fine storyteller, as you've experienced. But the actual writing...well, sucks. LOL
Tarie -- I promise to send you a personal announcement. :)
Jill,
That was a terrific interview! I love ALL the responses I get from my test studies. I don't get to meet many of them personally, but I love all the letters, espeically the one's who might not have loved it like I wanted, but got it anyway.
Be blessed and highly favored.
Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
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