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Wednesday, October 25, 2006Surely He Must Be Quite Thirsty
 Bear with me; this is a Writing Rant. My regular readers know that I'm homeschooling my children. This year, I've begun to use an excellent grammar series for my twelve- and fourteen-year-olds. I love the series because it's thorough, it's advanced, and it teaches sentence diagraming. (Yes, I spelled diagraming correctly. I promise.) Today, Jonathan's lesson included the identification of gerund phrases and infinitive phrases and the diagraming thereof. Super lesson. (Can you tell I love grammar?) However, as is often the case, some of the sentences used as examples are, simply put, weak sentences. Yes, they're grammatically correct. Yes, they make sense. But from a writing standpoint, they're weak. And it drives me absolutely bonkers. Case in point is the sentence in my title: Surely he must be quite thirsty. (Attention grammar aficionados: This sentence was in the review section, not the main lesson. Hence the absence of either a gerund or an infinitive phrase). The sentence is easy enough to decipher; "thirsty" is the predicate adjective that modifies "he," the subject. Like I said, it's grammatically correct. The problem? Adverbs. A six-word sentence should not contain two adverbs. Nothing weakens a sentence like a preponderance of adverbs. So we've got surely and quite in the same sentence when we could do with either one alone: "Surely he must be thirsty." "He must be quite thirsty." Or if it were in the context of dialogue, we wouldn't need either one: "He must be thirsty." See my point? Of course, Jonathan has the benefit of a writer-mom who is careful always to point out weak sentences and encourage her children to do the same. Some things are hard-and-fast and should not be questioned, such as a verb is a verb is a verb (unless it's a gerund, in which case it's a noun). But other things are more subjective, like Too Many Adverbs. And it isn't just professional writers who need to worry about such things -- it's everybody. Imagine writing a cover letter to a resume that sounds like this: "I am really interested in pursuing employment with your very progressive firm. My experience is very extensive and I've carefully and diligently outlined my employment history in the quite detailed, enclosed resume. Thank you so very much for your time." Yep. If it were up to me, I'd throw it in the garbage without checking the resume. Let's try: "I am interested in pursuing employment with your progressive firm. I have outlined my experience and employment history in the enclosed resume. Thank you for your time." I know, I know...I've just spent more than a month doing heavy-duty revisions. This is the kind of thing that, after you've weeded it from your own writing, sticks out like a festering thumb. So, to all you writers out there: STOP USING ALL THOSE ADVERBS. There. I feel better now. Labels: homeschooling, writing |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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11of my readers are feeling chatty:
LOL!! I'll probably be the only geek who writes that I LOVED this entry!
Ya know though, I'm really slipping in my old age. Before I read on I stared at that sentence for several moments trying to figure out what was wrong with it.
It's a good thing I never write in my own blog. ;-)
Kerrie! I was SO thinking of you as I wrote this! LOL!!
Boy, do I OWE YOU an email, new-mama-for-the-seventh-time!!!
This grammar course is challenging me and recharging my rusty brain. There is so much I could never have remembered without the refresher.
Now I know I'm rusty. I used to be much better when teaching 8th grade English. Ofcourse, I didn't have Mrs. Bell...and that is why I am convinced I still struggle:o)
Oh myyyyyyyyy
Whenever you mention homeschooling, I get sad and in awe of you at the same time.
Sad because our school system is so unreliable, dangerous, corrupt and liberally biased that sending children into it is like strapping them to the hood of a rattling 1960s VW Bus with a smoke-coughing engine and a drunk driver behind the wheel.
In awe because you have the strength, patience, fortitude, skill, opportunity and love to do this for your children.
Can I school my kids at your home?
You DO have to write Jill!
Tell me all about this curriculum when you do. :-D
I've been scavenging up old copies of Warriner's on eBay for the past several years but they're tough to find and usually very well loved so they've got that "slimy" library book feel - yuck!
Jerry, you could do it! Jill is a pretty exceptional mommy but I know she'd be the first to agree with me that any loving parent is equipped with all the skills they need to teach their treasures.
It can be tough but it all comes down to asking for a new helping of grace each day.
You sound like an awesome dad. :-)
I am a happy idiot. I couldn't diagram a sentence to save my life.
A gerund??!! Is that like a gund! :0)
Those of us who grew up in, like, the 80's like totally have wicked-bad issues with out-there-adverbs.
At least those of us who refuse to grow up!
Robin
* clap clap clap *
WOO HOO!
Adverbs are the Devil!
I diagrammed sentences in 4th grade... good enough for me.
The one thing about being a writer and learning all the rules is that
everything you read that doesn't follow those rules makes you nuts.
For instance: John Grisham writes a good book, but he has Point of
View shifts all over the place.
I find myself editing books as I read. Children's books
especially. Most of them are literary crap.
okee dokey, I totally don't even know what a gerund is.
Was that sentence bad enough for you?
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