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Thursday, June 01, 2006I Was Minding My Own Business...HonestlyWeirder than weird. I met my beloved for lunch yesterday because he was on my end of town. (Why, you ask? He had an appointment for an MRI. It seems his chiropractor saw something that warranted a closer look. I am chastened, of course, for my attitude, though I still say it's a version of The Boy Who Cried Wolf when one always whines at the slightest discomfort. But I digress...) So I was walking toward my van when I noticed a young woman beside the vehicle parked by mine. She was hunched over, her face an inch or two from the rearview mirror. She was plucking out chin hairs. Now, to be fair, sunlight is definitely useful for the search-and-destroy of errant chin hairs. Natural lighting is, in fact, the best lighting for this sort of...ur...activity. I'm sure my parking lot neighbor was having great success in extracting those hairs. Except, chin-hair plucking isn't exactly something that most women do in public. As I walked around to the driver's side of my van, the woman raised her head slightly, gave me a glance, and then went back to plucking chin hairs. Voraciously. As if I didn't exist. She didn't even have a tweezers; she was using the thumb-and-forefinger fingernail method of extraction, which is certainly a challenging way to pull those stubborn, slippery hairs out. There's more. She was smoking a cigarette. Think about that for a moment. Think about holding a lit cigarette in one hand while rabidly plucking chin hairs with the other. Even as I turned on my motor and began to back out, she continued on with her plucking, only stopping momentarily to take a long drag from the cigarette. And now she no longer had the added "protection" of my minivan on one side of her. Am I missing something here? My regular readers know that I'm all about thinking outside the box and encouraging others to do so as well. But...plucking chin hairs in a parking lot? I should have stuck around to see if she was going to shave her armpits and brush her teeth next. If she's this uninhibited in public, one can only wonder how she behaves at home. I will talk about boobs without blushing; make fun of myself in front of a crowd; mention sex as though I were talking about the price of eggs. But you will never, never, never catch me plucking my chin hairs in a parking lot. That's in the same league as pulling a wedgy out of your nether region. Or farting in an elevator -- on purpose. No, thank you. I may be a frightening mixture of irreverent and frenetic, but I do have a measure of self-respect. My chin hairs are no one else's business. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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15of my readers are feeling chatty:
This is one of those times when I wish the comment box had those cute little animated emoticons. Words just can't convey my bug-eyed, jaw-dropped Ewwwww! reaction to this post.
Yuck!!!
It's always when I'm driving that Sean likes to point out that I have A chin hair (yes...only one! LOL) Of course I alway try to get it out, I don't want him stareing at it, but I'm incapable of doing it (I'm driving...and what idiot would pluck their chin hairs in a car?!)
I should have read that before dinner. Would have helped my diet. I might have to print this post out and read it whenever I get hungry.
ROFLMAO! too too funny! A woman I know picks her teeth in her rear view mirror! EWWWWWWWWW!
Thats soooo eeeeewwwwwiiiisssshhh hahaha she cant wait to pluck those chin hairs huh? hahaha
Are you sure it was her car?
As for the farting in the elevator thing:
"IT WAS MEEEEEE!!!!"
Oh my - strange folk you have living in your home town.
Yeah - some people are not ashamed doing things in public at all. Although the only weird stuff I have seen is ladies driving, eating and talking on the cell-phone all at the same time.
OH MY STINKING GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is toooo funny Jilly! I'm laughing so hard.
Parker just walked in and said, "Is she almost done with her book?" He is so anxious to get his little hands on your book, Jill.
I have to admit something.....I'm someone who WILL pull her wedgie out in public. I always do it in an area where there are no other people and I always try to have Greg "cover me" but those darn thongs can go places that I don't dare speak of and I cannot allow them to remain there for fear that I may never find them again. Ewwwww and double Ewwwwww
Dare I even sign this reply? I think NOT! Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh BUT I would NEVER pluck chin hairs in public! *sticks out tongue*
Reminds me of the many men I see driving down the road and picking their nose.
I think people think that because they are inside their car, they can't be seen. Forgetting about the whole window thing.
Ew! :)
But "Who me??", I thought you wore thongs!!
Isn't that like a permanent wedgie anyway? LOLOL!
Love ya. ;-D
Snickle, at 65 MPH with someone ELSE driving, the car can be a great place to pluck a chin hair. :D
Dave, you do know, of course, that I was thinking of you when I wrote that bit about farting in an elevator...
Kerrie, I assumed she MEANT a thong! LOLOL How else would it be able to get "lost?" :)
Mrs. Atroxi, my daughters are always going, "Ewwwww!" because they catch someone in a car picking his nose. I keep telling them to JUST STOP LOOKING!!
LOL Kerrie. No, I don't purchase "string" thongs which cuase permanent wedgies...I purchase the wider back thongs which are suppposed to be safer for the female eco system. *wink*
Right now, I am afraid that this might have been me. I can explain...
I have this one hair that keeps coming back on my chin. I never notice it until I am in the car (putting on mascara). So I keep tweezers in the car (and a lighter to sterilize them).
Well, the other evening, I plucked His eyebrows at His house and left my tweezers on His coffee table. So I had to try to get that hair with my fingernails.
The first attempt, I curled the hair. But I got it after a couple of tries.
I am horrified with myself.
That was hilarious! Not by the hairs of my chinny, chin, chin!!
XXOO,
JTL
I am very discreet about de-wedgying Uncle Fester. I wait until everyone is completely distracted with a potent elevator fart, then I go for it.
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