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Monday, May 15, 2006Not Much Better Than The Beagle
 I don't know how I could have forgotten about Snoopy's ongoing attempts at writing a novel. I guess it's been a while since I've curled up with a collection of comics. I almost feel disloyal for choosing Linus as my favorite all these years. Obviously Snoopy and I have more in common. Except, I would never start my novel with, "It was a dark and stormy night." Funny how that silly little sentence has become the longstanding example of Bad Writing. It exudes "cliche." Funny how there's still a heck of a lot of bad writing out there, anyway. Funny...but not really. Just the other day, I discovered yet another chick lit book that I'd never heard of. Ever intrigued and always trying to keep up with what's out there, I called up the title on Amazon and started to read the first page. Honestly, I don't want to come off like some sort of unapproachable book snob. But...wow. This was bad. And this was the author's third novel, with a fourth one due out this summer. Granted, I'm not a fan of chick lit. But I can appreciate raw talent in any genre, even something outside of what I personally enjoy. You know? And this was just...bad. Bad as in, dying and going to hell must be only slightly worse than having to read this entire book. Okay, that's a bit of a stretch. But you're used to my use of hyperbole by now, surely. Over and over and everywhere you go, agents are saying, "Write well. Write well and you will get noticed." It's sage advice. It's common sense. But I don't often see the fruit of all this "write well" advice. I see...drivel. I see...commercial hype. And occasionally I see genius. A few days ago I had the great misfortune to stumble upon the blog of a talented writer without remembering to bookmark the page. Her writing was crisp, sharp, edgy. She drew me in immediately, and my faith in authorkind was restored. And I can't remember the name of her blog for the life of me. No, she's not published. I hope she whips up a darn good query and gets her work out there. We all have to start somewhere. Writing is first a gift, and second a craft. If you've got the gift, you need to work it like dough until your arms are aching and your brain is leaking out of your ears. That's the "crafting" that creates the perfect gem from the "diamond in the rough" (whew! talk about cliches...). Want to hear some of my early "first sentences?" Come on, you know you're dying to. 1. From The Mistery [sic] of the Haunted House by Jill Schafer, age 8: Jamie and Jessika were taking a walk. (Draws you right in, doesn't it?) 2. From A New Baby by Jill Schafer, age 8 1/2: Mrs. and Mr. Carlson are very happy. 3. From Miss America 1975 by Jill Schafer, age 10: Ten finalists one of which would become Miss America. (I think I was regressing; that's not even a sentence.) And my personal favorite: 4. From Kim's Secret Tunnel by Jill Schafer, age undetermined: Kim had a secret tunnel. The word "prodigy" is not crossing your mind right now. No matter. It's all about starting somewhere and moving forward. It's about being willing to have someone read our work and say, "This really sucks!" without falling to pieces or lapsing into permanent denial. In short -- it ain't easy. So to all the Snoopies among you: Keep writing! And if someone tells you that your writing needs a little work, listen to him. Trust me. I had to hear it from more than one source before I finally got the hint. Yes, I'm a "born" writer. And yes, my first drafts absolutely stink, just like everyone else's. I can write a mean sonnet in iambic pentameter, though. More on "useless writing skills" another time. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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7of my readers are feeling chatty:
"Dying and going to hell must be only slightly worse than having to read this entire book." - That is BAD!
I have never heard the term "chick lit" either.
But I have to say, that I have started to read some books and couldn't go past page 12. Just horrible.
Thank you for fixing your blog for Firefox readers *smile*. Now your blog is not falling off the 'edge'.
I'm afraid I have a terrible time with modern "literature". Most times when I try and read something the critics and the public are raving about, I just plain old don't get it.
That's not to say I don't enjoy some contemporary authors, it's just that me and the popular written word often seem to be allergic to one another.
And that makes me very sad.
Hey there, Jill. I share your frustration and I am even a fan of "commercial women's fiction." This is such a bizzare business. So much isn't about writing well at all. The reality, I suppose. Striking a balance that satisfies you is maybe the way to go...but maybe it doesn't matter...just write.
I recall a line from a dealy I wrote in 2nd grade... it was something like "the clouds were thick like peanut butter."
Eph -- You're quite welcome!
Mrsatroxi -- It can be very frustrating. Thank goodness there are so many classics at hand when the going gets really tough! :)
Kathie -- Yep, you've got an excellent understanding of what's going on in a business that seems to contradict itself. Ah, well. You know...I'm glad to have "met" you; I always enjoying reading your comments here!
Dave -- Admit it; that's highly creative! And indicative of your already very bizarre mind at work. :)
I want to know when you're going to print and publish your blog as a writers self help book.
Ken
Will you buy a copy? :)
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