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Monday, May 29, 2006It Was Really Tempting...But ultimately I decided against entitling this post "I'm Married to an 80-year-old," as I had originally intended. I didn't think Eric would appreciate it. You see, he played four games of volleyball on Friday afternoon. It's a fun, let's-have-an-office-picnic kind of thing that his Place of Employment does twice a year, and Eric loves it. His hidden extrovert comes out, he takes off his manager hat, and yes, he plays volleyball. I think it's great. Really, I do. Eric needs that kind of sweaty guy thing in his life. It's right up there with weight lifting, minus the male grunting. Except this time, Eric twisted his back near the end of the first game. It couldn't have been that painful, because my beloved husband hung in there for three more games. Three more games. Was this some kind of machismo I've yet to behold in my definitely-not-macho spouse? I'm not sure. All I know is that by the time Friday evening rolled around, Eric was...hobbling. "Uhnn. Mmmpff." (These are the noises he makes when he wants to get my attention.) "What's your problem?" (I'm not very sympathetic when Eric makes stupid noises.) "Ohhhh, I twisted my back playing volleyball today." Then the story came out -- how Eric had dived toward a glorious save, how he'd landed wrong and wrenched his back, and how he'd valiantly made his way through three more rounds of volleyball torture. "Wait. You're telling me that you hurt your back in the first game, and then you played three more games?" If Eric thought he was going to wring any amount of sympathy from me at this point, he was seriously deluded. "Go take some Ibuprofin." (I sound just like my mother sometimes, I swear.) He wouldn't take the Ibuprofin -- said he'd wait until morning. By the time morning rolled around, he had aged about fifteen years and claimed he couldn't walk. That, of course, didn't stop him from lounging at the pool all day with the kids. ("The lounge chair felt really good on my back," quoth he.) Not that I'm complaining; I did get another chapter finished while the house was quiet. And forget yard work, kitchen help, and early showers ("Unnggh, I couldn't get in the shower when I got up..."). When Eric aches, the world stops. Oh, puhleeeeeeze. Who does he think he's talking to? I've carried four babies to term and pushed them into the world single-handedly, the fourth without the help of any pain medications. I've suffered excruitiating esophogael spasms and lived to tell the story. And I've taken a nose-dive onto the cement of our garage and broken three ribs. "I can't get in the shower?" Try, "I can't move at all because I've just cracked three living bones on the right side of my rib cage." "I can't let you flop your legs over my lap during the movie because my back is aching?" Try, "I can't get out of bed without throwing myself bodily to one side and rolling painfully off of the mattress because I'm nine months pregnant with my fourth child and my entire body is giving out." Honestly. He's going to have to stop milking things if he wants real sympathy. Several years ago, he threw his back out for real. I had to run out and buy a heating pad, and he needed prescription medication to get through it. Yes, he had my sympathy. He had hernia surgery a few years back. The recovery time was relatively quick, but those first couple of days were rough (especially when Eric, in his narcotic-induced state, called our daughter "Penis" instead of "Peanut"). I think his first bowel movement after the surgery was probably the closest thing he'll ever come to natural childbirth. Yes, he had my sympathy. But this? This falls under the "aches and pains of aging" category. And honey, he ain't the only one aging around here! I love Eric to the ends of the earth. But I may have to slip something strong in his salad tonight so that he falls asleep early and stops loping jerkily about the house with a permanent grimace on his face. And the next time he chooses to be sassy in my comment box, I'm sure he'll think twice. Won't you, sweetie? |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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27of my readers are feeling chatty:
So glad my first bowel movement after hernia surgery is of interest to your readers.
However, I am sure that your ribs hurt more than any pain I have ever had.
When you broke your ribs, I thought, what next, a hip? When we celebrated Jill's 85th birthday this year she got a brand new and shiny chrome zimmer frame!
It is you, my darling who is on a first name basis with the ambulance drivers and the folks at the ER.
I am glad that you could get so much mileage out of my back. It is the sign of a truly gifted writer of fiction. I suppose I am the inspiration for that character in your new book that sits in the corner of the room and grunts and spits.
Love you, darling!
Well, I do hope Eric's back feels better today. I know, it stink to get older, but our bodies just can't hold up with us. Maybe next time volleyball is played Eric will take a little easier.:)
Have a blessed Memorial Day.
You are very proud of Eric and he is your hero come rain or shine.
God bless.
LOL...
Good site. Hope you don't mind if I link you.
ROFL at the drug induced Freudian!
HEY ERIC!!!! I'm a volleyballer too!
I played for several years on count rec teams.
One day I got the best stuff block of my life, and the guy who hit it came ounder the net. I landed on his foot and tore the ligaments in my left ankle. BAP out for 3 months. BUT.... I finished out the night, playing hurt. I figured after the intial screaming pain died down that it was just a sprain. I gutted it out.
The next morning I couldn't walk to save myself. I put weight on the ankle and it exploded and my eyeballs bounced off of the wall.
The only thing I could find to help me get around was my softball bat. That, I must say, was not a very good walking stick.
I called work and told them that I wouldn't be in, then had my brother-in-law drive me to the doctor. Who, incidentally, was later convicted of insurance fraud. It was lovely.
So I had to sit for 3 months watching practives and games, dying to be out there playing.
I was never quite the same after that. Now I'm too fat.
Sassy? I've never used the word Eric and sassy in the same thought before. Hmmmmm. But I have to agree, a husband with an ailment can be a test of one's patience.
Long time lurker here but this one deserves a comment. My fiancee just sprained his ancle, and has selective severe pain. In the fall he also hit his head and claimed to have a serious concussion even though he didn't feel ill at all. The grand finale was before he went to bed, he noticed he was sunburned on his nose and thought he might have a sunstroke.
Nothing like a good case of man-flu
Hello, I have never been here before, but I can see we already have so much in common!! (My post shows how my Hubby has decided he is 10yrs old...)
Wendy directed me here today
Jill - I respect you as a writer and I admire your wifely skills. As a blog-friend, I'm going to let you in on a secret.
We men are wimps - ok, that's not the secret; every wife knows that.
But - and here's the secret / tip - if a wife coos over her man's injury, if she listens to the story of how he got said injury and gives the appropriate amount of "you're my he-man" strokes, then the man will recover faster! If the ego is not stroked and the sympathy not given, we men will whine even more!
OMG! LOL! My ex had a vastectomy and couldn't move for a week! I had to bring him ice packs. I gave birth to 5 kids and didn't whine as much.
I came from Wendy's Place!
Darling Sweetheart: Are you getting sympathy from your office cronies today? :)
Orikinla -- Yes I am, and yes he is.
n8ivwarrior -- Thanks, I don't mind at all!
Dave -- I've told Eric to get his heiny over here so that the two of you can commiserate.
Sister -- LOLOL OK, "sassy" doesn't really work!
Oh dear....sounds like it's been an interesting time for you! Get the extra strong ibuprofen next time!!
Wendy directed me here today!!!
Kirsti -- "selective severe pain" -- LOLOL! Your entire comment made me laugh; thanks! And thank you for "de-lurking." :)
Fizzy -- Hi! I will have to go and read your post...
Jerry -- OH MY! You mean...I've got to.....to.....FAKE IT?!?!?!?
This is a gem of true insight. I'll have to think about it. Gad, I'm not sure I can handle it. I am SO not the sugary Southern Belle type.
Mysteriouslady -- LOL! At least you brought him the ice packs...
Wendy directed me here today and I hope he's back on top form soon.
Haha, my hubby does the same. But I know when he is really hurting, and it seems to be coming more now as we are getting older!! Here from Wendy's (just not in order!)
Here from Wendy's Auditions today...
Having back problems myself, I have smpathy for your husband...Are you sure that he is exagerating??? (Lol)Give the guy a break...mabe he is feeling as bad as he says...
Wendy sent me. Very glad she did!
Obviously, some wives do not understand the manager mentality. There is no way Eric could not play all four games. Shame on you, Jill, for thinking he should dishonor himself in front of his employees. Personally, I would probably continue to play until unconscious rather than show myself to be less of a leader on the court, field or wherever than in the office. You should develop sympathy, understanding and respect for his efforts. If we were still living in cave man days he would be bringing you home a bigger elk than anyone else in his hunting party, because that is just how we are wired, and you should appreciate this characteristic and try and nuture it more.
((((((((Eric)))))))))) feel better! Sorry Jill.
Claire, Dave, Ruth, and golokhov -- thanks for dropping by!
OldoldLady -- Oh, to be sure, it's real pain all right. It's just that he is constantly bringing it to my attention...ya know? ;)
Uinseann -- Ur, methinks a manager ought to set a better example instead of trying to be a He-man! He didn't bring me an elk, or anything else. Just a lot of whining. You know, I think I'd be fawning all over him and rubbing his feet and feeding him grapes...if he just didn't milk things all the time!! And you'll be glad to know that he saw a chiropracter this afternoon. I'm quite proud of him for actually going. And...for the record....I told him so! ;)
Lisa -- Sorry for what? For hugging Eric? LOLOL I wouldn't expect anything less than sympathy for him from you, my dear. I will be sure to pass along your hug. He'll appreciate it! :)
Wow!!!!
Eric, I am so on your side!
We are men! We play through pain! We fight through pain! We provide through pain!! He went to work, didn't he!?
At the time he hurt his back he didn't think he'd be in pain for days. He was already warm and stretched out. Back pain doesn't start until the next morning when you get stiff from not moving for 8 hours.
You pick on this poor man who took such good care of you when you broke your ribs. Remember this???
http://www.beatyourowndrum.com/blog/dad/2005/10/scared-to-death.html
For shame!
:-)
Ken
Ken, you're REALLY lucky I like you so much! LOL
He skipped 2 meetings this morning and went into work late.
Methinks I'd better steer Eric away from here...he's going to feel WAY too vindicated.....LOL!!
LOL I knew I could get away with it! Alright, maybe I was sweating a little bit.
You're on my A-List too. :-)
I'm glad you were sweating. LOL
Both Daves, UNi, and Ken understand.
I read the book, 'Wild At Heart', recommended by my wife, Jillian. :)
Ken encapsulated the very essence of what that book taught me.
To quote Ken "We are men! We play through pain! We fight through pain! We provide through pain!"
On Friday I played through the pain. On Tuesday I paid for the pain at the Chiroprators. :-)
Eric
Hey, I understand. A couple of years ago I wrenched my back not long before a vacation. Although it had improved only right before we left, I decided to try white water kayaking while on vacation. After the third time that I overturned, I reinjured my back trying to upright the kayak. Determined to finish, I fought through the pain and finished the river. The pain was a great motivator not to overturn my kayak anymore that afternoon. :-)
Wendy directed me here today again.
I directed myself here today lol.
The volleying and feedback in these comments is hilarious :)
Eric has my sympathy.
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