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Monday, May 22, 2006Geeks "R" ThemAnd so, my husband has returned from the Java One conference in San Francisco. A bit tired, a bit nostalgic (he would retire to the wine country in a heartbeat), a lot geekified. After supper on his first night home, Eric gathered the children around him in the living room and plopped his duffle bag on the floor. It was time to hand out Conference Goodies. Are you thinking "T-shirts?" "Pens?" Ah, that's only a small fraction of what's available at the Java Geek-o-rama. Eric brought home two of each -- one T-shirt for each daughter (they're huge, ugly, and great for sleeping in), and two cool pens. The pens, of course, were for me. (I especially like the squooshy, fat Google pen. If I catch anyone touching my Google pen, his fingers will be promptly removed.) But the Really Cool Stuff was soon on its way out of the duffle bag, straight into the eager hands of our offspring. We're talking blue LED pendants that turn on and off with the twist of a magnet. Keychains sporting a colored oil-and-water mixture that sloshes around like some 70's throw-back. Multi-colored, rubbery jellyfish thingies hanging from an extension of goo (purpose: unknown). Tiny flashlights with the intensity of a camera's flash (perfect for blinding an annoying sibling). And a life-sized foam rubber Blackberry. Granted, in the hands of a loving daddy, these...ur...treasures...become priceless gifts. But my question is: What the heck kind of geek would want these toys for himself? I mean, when I was, oh, twelve, I would have killed for a cool, light-up thingie. I'd have used it in my Barbie house, or come up with a fantastical story about it. According to Eric, the folks at the Java One conference were walking around handing out free cell phones to anyone they found wearing one of the light-up pendants...lit up. I'm sorry. I may be all about beating my own drum, but I wouldn't be caught dead at a conference wearing a blue light-up pendant. And I'm particularly baffled by the rubbery jellyfish-on-a-string. I'm not even sure what it is, let alone why any grown person would want one. What exactly is the thought process there? "Wow, I'm definitely going to purchase this company's software, because they gave me this cool, rubbery jellyfish thing!" Please. The bottom line can be summed up in one word: GEEKS. Geeks like things that light up, make sounds, fit together, move in odd ways, or remind them of Star Trek. How do you entice the geeks at a Java One conference to visit your booth? Offer them a high-tech, low-cost toy -- something that blinks or buzzes or slaps you in the face when you touch it. Yep. Gotta love those geeks. Anyway, it makes for an awfully cheap homecoming presentation. My children were intensely pleased with all of their geeky gifts. (I know, I know -- it's genetic. I'm not ready to go there today.) To be fair, the two coolest gifts were given to me: A stainless steel travel mug for my coffee (it says "Java One" on it, but I can hide that with my hands), and -- best of all -- a twenty-five dollar gift certificate for Amazon.com. Now that's a prize worth spending a few minutes at a geek booth! I'll admit, I asked Eric if he thought he could visit the booth a second time, under a new name. He wouldn't do it. Within twenty-four hours of having received the code from Eric, I had placed my order on Amazon...thanks to the Geeks-in-Booths at the conference. I can't complain. Well, I'm sure I will complain when I start tripping over the geek toys that have been left lying around the house. Once the LED lights have lost their battery power and the jellyfish thing loses its bounce, they'll be "old news." I will then tuck them all beneath Eric's pillow. Or maybe I'll box them up and ship them to his office. Hey. I love my geek. He fixes my computer and straightens out my HTML code. I wouldn't want him any other way. I mean, who else would I watch Star Trek: The Next Generation with? (Besides Jonathan, geek-in-training, that is.) I just wish he wouldn't go places where everyone knows he's a geek -- and everyone else is a geek, too. Nothing brings out innate geekiness like the presence of thousands of other geeks. I'm glad I wasn't there. And I'm glad he's home. And yes, I'm glad he's a geek. It's just that I could do without the rubber jellyfish... |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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13of my readers are feeling chatty:
Visiting from BE, and found this posting quite hilarious.
Thanks for the laugh.
Good luck in Geekville.
Heh
Thanks, I needed the laugh! I love reading your blog.
At least your husband doesn't drag you along! When the IAAPA conference came to Orlando, I had to go with him. He thought it was the greatest thing that he could actually take me along. If you think the geek stories are scary...try experiencing them all first hand!
I am 5 of 6. Its a squidling on a string. It was assimilated from the planet Calamari. Resistent yet chewy.
Perhaps you and my wife should form a support group...
She is really good at not letting her eyes glaze over when I go into Geek-speak.
Ooh ooh, who got the foam rubber Blackberry???
Can I have it, can I, huh, huh?
:-D
funny, kerrue, because I had the same reaction when I read the list of geek booty. But then I realized, the foam version probably doesn't have wifi.
yep, I know all about this, except in the car and hair world. Both of which I've been to many a conference, only thing is I have no kids to give them to so I have all these pens and pads of paper among other things that sit around my house for years until I get annoyed and toss them. On rare occasions I will find someone to pawn them off on...maybe I should just start saving all of them and build a big monument to free gifty things and make a national gifty thing holiday :P
Jamie -- I did go with him once, to a conference in Orlando. OH MY GOSH. I've seen the geeks firsthand. Never again. Never!!
Dave -- LOL But you used the word "I" ....
Jerry -- Support group? Your wife could TEACH CLASSES! I need to sit at her feet for a year or two...
Kerrie -- I really don't think Spencer wants to part with it. :)
Stoopidgirl -- Thanks for stopping by. I'll bet hair conferences don't have geeky flashing things! LOL
Remember that after "Hugh" they did gain some individuality. "Whew!"
My kids would have loved those treasures!!! I'm happy that your man is back safe and sound. I would never call him a geek though. I think he's pretty cool!
LOL - you are just too funny. Actually I have two 'geeks' at home. They teach all kinds of computer stuff - YEAH!
Geek swag rulez !!
LOL
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