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Tuesday, January 24, 2006"The Really Horrible Fourth of July"My husband is warped. In the past week or so, we've had several evenings of "sitting by the fire" in our living room downstairs. Not just Eric and me -- all six of us. It's been the kind of cozy family time you can only have during the winter months. Eric, our daddy-from-another-planet, decided during these fireside times that he would tell stories to the children. Not "stories from my boyhood" or "tales from the Brothers Grimm," but "stories from Eric's strange mind." Needless to say, the children love them. I missed the first round, so you can imagine how curious I was when he prepared to tell a new story the other night. "The Really Horrible Fourth of July," he began. My scalp started to crawl. Not because there's anything particularly creepy about the Fourth of July, but because my faithful children had informed me of the content of Daddy's last fireside story, in which there was a city where the sun never shone, and when it finally rose in the sky, it fried everybody. "It was the Fourth of July, and there was going to be a huge fireworks display in the city," Eric said. He went on to describe "the boy's" excitement, and the crowd of thousands upon thousands of people gathering in the city to watch the magnificent fireworks display. So far so good, thought I. This sounds like a scene from our own lives. Nashville has a grand fireworks display every year, and the kids love going up to the city with Daddy to see it. (Mommy, the sane one, stays home and writes.) Just as I began to relax a bit, Eric's story took a dark turn. "'Ladies and gentleman,' a voice announced, 'Welcome to our city's fireworks! The show is about to begin!' Everyone cheered, and then the long row of rockets, all lined up, began to tilt until they were all facing the crowd of people. And suddenly, all the rockets started shooting off -- right into the crowd of people! Everyone started to yell and run away, and people were on fire, and the rockets kept shooting at the people. It was a really horrible Fourth of July. The end." You can see why I write the stories around here, while Eric keeps a day job. You can also see why my children are a little to the "off" side of normal. "Mommy, now you tell a story!" came the gleeful call as Eric's masterpiece came to an end. There was no way -- there was absolutely no way -- that I was going to even try to come up with a story in the wake of Eric's worse-than-Tim-Burton tale. In short, I declined. "It takes Mommy a long time to write her stories," came daughter Maggie, fellow writer, to my defense. I was waiting for her to add, "and Mommy's stories actually make sense," but she didn't. Who would want to listen to one of my tales after that, anyway? It would be like trying to get a child to read Othello after he's just finished a Harry Potter book. I left the living room as Eric began his next tale. It was really too frightening to stay there. Don't worry -- I limit the children's exposure to their father's half-baked imagination. And I fill their minds with real literature on a regular basis. One can only hope that it will counter the effects of Warped Parent Story Hour. Will The Blogging Boss have anything to say in his own defense? I doubt it. I haven't embellished a single word. He may be a doting father, adoring husband, incredible boss, and all-around good guy, but when it comes right down to it, he's WEIRD. Why else would he love me? |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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9of my readers are feeling chatty:
hahahah sounds like something Jesse and Levi would come up with! LOL
SOunds like something my husband would tell! He has an imagination like that! LOLOL!
Arrr a man after me own likeness!
I used to tell my middle boy things like "Snow is really just the clouds falling apart." or "it becomes night because God forgot to change the batteries in the sun."
As for fireworks shooting people, I actually saw that happen sort of. We were watching the guys who were launching. One guy was working on a tube and it exploded, and blew him up into the air back. It was kind of freaky.
My husband does the same kind of thing, we only have one child left that is still gullible enough to believe him LOL
BTW you can come to my house anytime Jill, even when the power is out ;)
Uhh.. sounds like someone spent one too many summers at camp!
:-D
LOL - fun stuff...when we have family conversations, I am kind of left out, because all the guys talk about are new programs for the computer or hardware...hmh...but I do learn a lot of things just listening :)
Without fail whenever Katherine is with us for dinner you'll hear, "Daddy, can we tell spooky stories?" Then we each take turns coming up with scarey stuff. Sometimes we turn down the lights and light a candle. good stuff.
Thanks for your thoughts and kind words over at my place. Much appreciated.
Ken
Without fail whenever Katherine is with us for dinner you'll hear, "Daddy, can we tell spooky stories?" Then we each take turns coming up with scarey stuff. Sometimes we turn down the lights and light a candle. good stuff.
Thanks for your thoughts and kind words over at my place. Much appreciated.
Ken
Hi Jill,
Just stopped by to say "Hi" and to let you know that I like your blog site! Cute!
I'm on Writers of the Mist and saw your name so I thought I'd check out your blog.
I wanted to let you know that I have a contest running for a free book for the first newbie who visits and links to my blog. It will go to, as Dave calls himself, an "oldbie" if no one else new posts. I'd love to see you stop by.
I'll be checking in!
Take care,
-Lisa
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