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Tuesday, December 13, 2005Woe Is Me And All That...I live a simple life -- really, I do. My children aren't ridiculously over-involved in extracurricular activities; our weekends are generally obligation-free; our house isn't polluted with the noise from a television or death-defying video games; I don't work outside the home. Simple, simple, simple. And there is joy in simplicity. Except, it's Christmastime. Still simple, mind you -- no "I hate this but I do it anyway" obligations or marathon shopping sprees. We don't "do" Christmas that way. Yet even in its simplest form, Christmas requires special preparation from the woman of the family, and, well, that would be me. So the card-signing, the stocking-stuffer-wrapping, the which-cookies-do-I-bake-this-year decisions, the "whose turn is it to go shopping for his siblings today" trips, the long-distance gift mailing -- it all falls on me. I don't mind. I love Christmas and I love the excitement of surprising and delighting the people I love the most. The one, teeny-tiny problem is this: I can't write. I don't have the time, the energy, or the ability to stop thinking about everything I still "have to do" in order to continue with my story. And I'm not happy about it. This morning during coffee time, Eric looked at me with the expression he always gets when he talks about my writing, and said, "So, are you going to write today?" What he meant was, "I really want you to write today." He wants to read the next chapter of my new novel, to be sure, but he also wants to encourage me in my passion. He loves that I'm a writer, and he really is very good at affirming what I do. I can't do it, though. I. Can't. Write. Even as I'm typing this, I keep looking at the time, thinking about what else I have to accomplish before lunchtime. And the "Not Writing" mode is like being constipated. All the words that want to be are backing up, clogged and compressed, until they become a solid, congealed mass that won't budge. (How's that for imagery?) No matter how long I might sit here, nothing will come out. So, after a few minutes, I sigh, get up, and go on about my next Christmas task. After a while, I start to feel downright dimwitted. So forgive me, please, if you don't hear much from me over the next couple of weeks. I'm hoping that the completion of all Christmas preparations will be just the Metamucil I need. Surely -- surely -- the words will start flowing again. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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11of my readers are feeling chatty:
good luck in the balancing act!
I know what you mean. I can only write when my mind is relaxed and there are no distractions, whether it be kids, hubby or things I have to do.
Just enjoy the season and remember, it will be over with soon enough.
Merry Christmas!
Even when you are "constipated" you still find the humor in this. At least that is what I glean from your post. :) Althoug not a writer, I sometimes get my best ideas for my blogs at most inconvenient (sp?) times, like getting ready for work, getting ready for bed; and by the time I sit down to write a post - blahhhh - all gone. Sometimes I don't even remember what the topic was. I really need to start putting notepads around to help myself remember...
I am sure that you will be doing just fine in a couple of days and it will just flow from your fingers into the keyboard. :)
((((hugs))))
Ahhhh...but...Christmas comes but once a year...and you love it so much...so enjoy all that cookie deciding, stuffer wrapping, and long distance mailing:o) Your dh may want another chapter done, but I know he loves all the special touches you put into your Christmas celebration!
I haven't written anything for a month and a half... I too am swamped by life.
We are going through severe teenager pains at the moment which takes the forefront.
Good luck with your literary metamucil.
Hey Jill,
I love the sound of your Christmas philosophy--you don't do anything you don't want to. We're not too far from that, but it sounds like you've done a great job of keeping what's important, central. Anyway, I never write in December. It's the one month I allow myself to wander, and think without having to write, and just be. I'm rearing to go come January--I'm sure you'll find the same thing. All those built up ideas aren't going anywhere...just perculating.
Thank you all so much for your responses!
Iris -- You say that you are "not a writer," but I disagree. Perhaps you are a bud instead of a flower right now, but that doesn't mean you're not a writer. :)
Ida's Mommy -- THANK YOU for the reminder. You're right, of course!
Dave -- Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the teenage angst. Peace and strength to you, my man! And it's nice to have company in the Not Writing Club.
Kathie -- You've made my day! Thank you for giving me permission, as it were, not to write! There is so much peace in just letting go. And I think that I, too, will be chomping at the bit come January. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Just a note to tell you your blog is outrageously wicked! I love it. You are a great writer and it's fun visiting your blog. :)
Hi Jill,
hope you don't mind, I referenced you on my blog--regarding The Count of Mont.
Kathie
I know that when it has to come out, the dams will loose and you'll get the runs all over the pages and your writing hands will be losing a battle with your brain that is excreting more ideas than they can keep up with.
I hope you've got a lot of toilet paper.
:-)
Ken
We don't have a huge over the top Christmas either but this time of year still takes it toll. I have lived in my car the last two weeks taking kids to end of year break up parties etc. Of course it is also summer here and they are all finishing/finished school until the end of January.
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