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Friday, November 25, 2005Who Is This Man and What Have You Done With My Husband?The alarm went off at 6:00 this morning. As always, I hit the snooze button to give myself those eight, golden minutes. I had just snuggled under the covers again, when Eric popped up -- he really did pop -- and leaned over me to squint at the clock. In the next heartbeat, he threw the covers back and leapt out of bed. Please understand -- my husband doesn't normally pop out of bed at 6:00 in the morning. In fact, my husband doesn't "pop" out of bed at any time of the day. He's not the "popping out of bed" type. But it's Black Friday, you see. And Eric loves Black Friday. So, my night-owl husband was in the shower by ten minutes after six. This is the man who sleeps through the smoke detectors when they start beeping for no apparent reason at two o'clock in the morning. This is the man who used to make us late for church when the children were little, because he stayed in bed until the last minute and left all of the dressing-small-wiggly-children-for-church fun to me. And yes, this is the man who frequently announces, "I hate morning" when it's time to extract himself from the mattress (which sometimes partially swallows him, which I imagine must make it difficult, indeed, to rise from the bed). You can imagine how frightening it was to see him up so early. Worse yet, he was cheerful. It was beyond the realm of what I could consider tolerably normal. It was almost terrifying. More amazing still, he was out of the shower and completely dressed (in a holiday-green sweatshirt, no less) in record time. On an average day, Eric takes more time to dress himself than I do. I suppose it's all tied into the "I hate morning" mindset. Either that, or he's way too in touch with his feminine side. At 6:35, he was grabbing his jacket from the hall closet and saying "good bye." And he was grinning. The man was lucid, dressed, and going out the door at a time when he's usually still ensconced in our down comforter -- and he was grinning! Okay, so maybe he was a little cute. It was worth sacrificing our coffee time to see him so chipper in the early morning. Of course, this will all be immensely enhanced if he comes home with secret bundles earmarked for his beloved wife on Christmas morning. I'd love to think that his whole impetus behind the barely-dawn departure was his burning desire to shower me with this-was-a-great-deal gifts. But I know better. Eric goes out on Black Friday to persue and conquer. It's a guy thing, dating back to the days of jousting matches and hunting parties. Are there only fifteen snazzy laptops on sale for $199? Eric will hamstring the fifteenth person and take his place in line. Is there a magnificent sale on DVDs that no one wants to watch? Eric will spend an hour sorting through thousands of B-rated movies in a bin, simply to arise victorious with a treasure in his hands. Is there one flat-screen TV left in the entire store, and the noisy throng is pressing toward it with eager hands? They'd better just go home -- Eric will get the TV. Even if it means we won't be able to feed the children for the next three weeks. Black Friday isn't about me. It's about him. But that's fine with me -- let him have his day of manly melee in the stores. I'm more than content here at home with a cup of Starbucks and nothing to conquer. Tomorrow morning, things will be back to normal again. The alarm will go off at 6:00, and Eric won't even twitch. I will find myself wondering if I'd dreamed up the entire Black Friday thing. Ah, well. Married life would be infinitely more boring if he were always completely predictable. (Married life is going to be infinitely less boring as soon as Eric sees what I've written here...) Oy. I think I'll go have a slice of pumpkin pie. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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9of my readers are feeling chatty:
Hhm, must be something about our Sweethearts that makes them want to stay in bed and that they hate mornings :giggle:. But mine does't even 'pop' (great term by the way)on any given morning...Maybe it was the TV Eric is hunting down :lol:
Well, better grap my coffee from the coffee maker before I write a novel in the comment section...
Have an awesome day!
<>< Iris
I love the idea that a man's "hunting" instinct has clicked on over shopping bargains. That's fantastic.
OK its now apparent Eric is not all there LOL only ppl that are half nuts or more go out on Black Friday LOL
To many ppl for me
LOL I love the pop out of bed bit!!! My hubby never pops! He rather roll over and steal my warm spot. :)
Hoping you get some great gift from his hunt!
too funny... I was the one wrapped up in the comforter until all hours of the day, while DramaMama and her friend arose in the wee ones to join the stampede that is the day after Thanksgiving.
They plan their excursions much like the military does in the war room. Newspaper ads organized by category, store, color, and recycle content. Detailed maps of the layout of the city, Hummers gassed and running... okay I made that up, but you get the idea. Extensive lists of must-haves and gonna-haves. With 20-30 empty slots for the didnt-know-I-gotta-haves.
Upon her return, a special glow radiated from her face, then meeting my eyes, she sheepishly said, "I spent a lot of money."
I twitched my head to the side, signifying that it went wihtout saying that our account lost some serious weight today.
"But I bought you a belt!"
Oh, come now, the man is obviously a saint for putting up with the dreaded 6:00am alarm for the rest of the year! ;)
My dad is exactly the same on Christmas morning. Normally you wouldnt see him before 9am if he's not working but if I go home for Christmas he'll be banging on my door at 6.30 in the morning demanding I get up and open my presents.
Men dont really change that much past the age of about fourtenn. They just get bigger toys to play with.
LOL so what did he buy ?
OOOOOOO Wendy -- it must be something for ME, because he didn't show me anything at all when he got home!!! :oD
BUT...he DID bring me home a surprise, which I think I'll blog about next...
Tarragon -- oh, yes, definitely bigger toys. Bigger and more expensive. Fortunely, mine is also mellowing with age, and doesn't spend even a fourth of what he used to on his "toys!"
Canadian Vegetable (cool name!) -- Ugh, you're one of those...those....NIGHTOWLS, aren't you? ;)
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