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Tuesday, November 08, 2005Too Tall, Too Beautiful, Too Fast
 Yes, it's true -- Maggie is only three-and-a-quarter inches behind me. We can walk side by side and I don't have to look way down to have a conversation with her. She is the essence of pre-woman. And I'm not quite sure when it happened. How did I birth something so beautiful? When did I stop wiping her bottom and start asking her if she needs new bras? Oh, that I could capture moments the way an image is captured, and take them out to re-live at will. I could re-tie her tiny, first ballet slippers; re-brush her "I'm trying to grow it long" hair; re-wipe the tears from her sweet face after she's fallen; re-hold her small, pudgy hand while crossing a parking lot; re-kiss the dimples in her still-baby-fatted cheeks. But that's what hearts are for; aside from loving, they are for holding memories. I can't remember when I became "old enough" to have children with two-digit ages and shoes bigger than my own. Wasn't it just yesterday when that pregnancy test was brilliantly pink? I guess I'll just keep shopping at The Gap until they start laughing at me when I walk in. There's something about Gap clothing that makes me feel younger. (I must be falling for someone's insidious marketing scheme.) Thanks for wading through my sentimental ooze. Jill Schafer Boehme Eric Boehme literary agents fantasy author Beat Your Own Drum Labels: parenting |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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11of my readers are feeling chatty:
awwwwwwwwww a child's growth isn't it grand? just wait tell you baby is as tall as you!
Levi can look me in the eyes now, i never thought that would happen. he was always so short. NOT any more ;-)
Where is the crying face when you need it? That was so beautiful! You make me so happy to be a mother!
Great sentiments, great pic...
I'm stuck at work exceptionally late in the evening... BLAUGH
Oh Jillian, I know how you feel...
When I look inside of me, I feel twenty-something (the outside isn't too bad either - just not twenty-something, more like thirty-something); but when I look at our son, who is twenty now (and 6'4''- so I have to look up at him)...ohhhh, where did the time go?
BTW - don't shop at the GAP, but at Old Navy - favorite place to get my jeans at...
Thanks, all, for your comments...
Dave, ick! I'm sending "become successful at a huge self-business venture AND be a bestselling author" vibes. :)
Eph -- Thanks for the empathy!! 6'4" -- oh my!!! And one of my favorite pairs of jeans (OK, I only have 2 pairs!) is from Old Navy -- I LOVE them! But overall I prefer the Gap.
OOFAH!
My little one is only five. But... Did I really need to read this. She's sleeping right now. Maybe I'll go wake her so I can spend a few extra minutes with her!
Ken
Awww Ken -- I love your daddy's heart! You just scoop her up and schmoogle her whenever you feel like it. I hate sounding cliched, but it really DOES go fast...
And stop reminding me that you're younger than I am. :P
Thanks Jill!
We did have a $4500 order the other day... Gotta love that!
Unfortunately those are too far between.
I am going on the offensive this weekend, emailing past customers about buying up for Christmas.
I have my own email blast software, it makes it very nice to do marketing campaigns.
I am so looking forward to the day that my little business can support us again, and I can devote a lot more time to writing. That's what I really want to do.
INCOMING VIBE! >>>SMACK<<<
Me again.
When the Bug was a baby, his mother and I were already separated. I got to see him on Wednesday evenings and on weekends.
When it was time to put him to bed, I would stand there holding him for the longest time, even though he had fallen asleep. I always hated it when I had to finally lay him down.
He was all I had back then. When he was with me the whole world stopped and we did whatever we felt like doing. Nothing and nobody got in the way of my time with my little guy.
When he was two, his mom remarried and moved out of state. That was very difficult for me. Every month, I would select a weekend, fly down there, rent a car and hotel room, and spend the weekend with him. It was heart-wrenching to have to leave, and I shed many a tear driving away from his house.
When she got married, they went on their honeymoon, and it was my task to deliver him to them upon their return. You can imagine how that sucked. That about killed me.
Unfortunately, time and life circumstances have managed to keep us apart for the majority of his life. I get him for 30 days a year, and one or the other of Thanksgiving or Christmas.
All of his visits are infinitely too short, and it seems that he is leaving 2 minutes after he arrives.
In many ways it feels like he is my nephew there for a visit instead of my son. I hate that more than you could ever know.
He will be 12 soon, and I feel like I hardly know him. Out of his 12 years, I have actually had him in my home for less than a year cumulative time.
One good thing though when I married DramaMama, we took my first wedding ring and had it melted down, then reformed into a different style. Somehow that just felt good. :)
Dave,
I can't fully express how your story makes my heart ache. I know that divorce takes two and it's not easy on either side, but to have been left with so very, very little time with your son seems so unfair. You, with a Daddy's heart the size of the Delta Quadrant!
I grieve with you over this particular hole in your heart. Your sweet boy has got to know, deep within him, how much you love him. The next time you have him for a weekend or series of days, take him camping -- just the two of you. Total male bonding time -- no one else around, no distractions. Plug in to him, listen to him, get to KNOW him the way you are craving. I assure you that the time will be well spent -- and that your son will come away from it feeling DEEPLY loved by his dad.
Jill:
I dont know why I havent seen this response before. Thank you so much.
James will be coming to Mesa for 10 Days for Christmas. That will be good.
Little Kayden loves him so much, he talks about him all of the time, and he is so sad when he has to leave.
One thing I hated most when she got remarried was that the new guy would be seeing my son everyday, and I had to pay child-support for the priviledge of letting him do it.
For the most part I have grown to accept it all... doesn't mean I have to like it.
New... onto happier things... we return to our usual insanity in Weezil-land! WOO HOOO!
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