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Thursday, October 06, 2005Observations From the Invalid's Bed...ur...Computer Chair(Haven't read about my grace-filled accident yet? Here it is.) Thursday's Brilliant Observations: 1. The offspring of injured mothers believe that having to touch other people's dirty underwear is only eclipsed in seriousness by the injury itself. No one seems to give a second thought to the fact that, for seventeen years and counting, I have been touching other people's dirty underwear on laundry day. (Oh, the things we take for granted.) 2. The online writing and publishing environment -- i.e., Miss Snark, Agent 007, Agent Obscura, Agent Query, Preditors and Editors, et al -- does not cease to run full steam ahead at the fall of one, measley writer. And jumping into said environment is most certainly detrimental to a fallen writer's recovery. Especially while reading Miss Snark's sharp-witted words while trying not to laugh. Or pondering the magnitude of lost writing time and trying not to cry. 3. Blogging is therapeutic. Except, I knew that before I broke three ribs. 4. Comments from complete strangers make me feel truly cared-about. And yes, I read every single word of empathy, sympathy, and rib-cracking humor (thank you, Poopmeister) that my readers felt inclined to share on my previous post. Thank you for taking a few minutes to do so. 5. Pain while belching generally ceases around the sixth day of recovery from a rib injury. 6. There is absolutely, positively nothing sexy about needing your husband to help you take a bath. No, I mean it. 7. It isn't the pain from a bone injury that causes creative energy to seep out of one's mind like an elusive vapor; it is the brain-numbing nothingness of doing absolutely nothing and going absolutely nowhere all day, every day, that does it. Stringing these simple sentences together is nothing short of a miracle. 8. Having hairy legs just doesn't matter. Especially when you need your husband's help to take a bath. 9. Six-year-olds cannot be relied upon to remember the difference between left and right, and should therefore be avoided at all costs by anyone who has fractured ribs on either the left or the right side. 10. The first bowel movement after a traumatic injury tends to illicit applause from various family members. 11. Good neighbors and caring people are worth their weight in six-digit, three-book deals. Note to self: Keep this in mind when you are not injured and helpless. And remember to be one of those good neighbors and caring people yourself. 12. Nobody's alarm clock seems to work properly when Mom is down for the count. 13. Children with access to a digital camera have a propensity for snapping pictures of their corpse-colored, matted-haired mother at the most inopportune moments. Fortunately, pressing "delete" does not in any way cause pain or discomfort at the fracture site. 14. It must certainly be immeasurably easier to be a man with a rib fracture than a woman. Men can go without shaving, bathing, or wearing decent clothes, and pull it off as looking "rugged." Women, on the other hand, turn into skanky, hellish beings that could easily be placed in the doorway to ward off burglars and the odd vampire. And we're supposed to believe our family members when they say, "But you are always beautiful." 15. Perhaps most astounding of all, my family has not yet tired of taking care of me. Do I love myself so little that I would doubt this? Heaven forbid the day I become a burden or a nuisance. Yet even after almost an entire week, my husband and children are continuing to lovingly and uncomplainingly serve me and take care of the household chores than I cannot do (which is all of them). Unconditional love knows no bounds, and I am daily awed and humbled by it. Nothing like a good smack in the ribs to gain me some perspective. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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19of my readers are feeling chatty:
:-) you knew they loved you! and perception is in the eye of the beholder you know ;-)
At least you have your hands LOL remember poor Jesse, he could laugh but not eat with out help :-)
OH the joys of others not wanting to touch others undies sheesh! really what do us moms do?? OH I KNOW salad tongs! we keep a pair beside the washer for just such occasions. hehe got to love it!
I'm glad you are being well cared for at home I expect no less from your family! but we sure do miss you around MOMMY! its just not the same!
Oh weren't you told? Mommies are not supposed to get hurt. I'm sure that they'll appreciate you more now. It sounds like they're taking real good care of you.
Oh man... we *really* didn't need to know number 10!!
;-D
Poop, poop, pooppooppooppooppoop pooppoop pooppoop poop! (sing that to the tune of George of the Jungle)
I dont get rugged, I turn in a wombat.
Poopemeister
It sure sounds like you've been doing some interesting thinking lately. Isn't it funny how life puts us in situations that us examine our world from a different perspective for a time?
Thanks for communicating in a way that highlights the simple truths and realities of everyday life. You must be a terrific mom! I'm glad you have such a wonderful family to take care of you.
Good luck with your next bath! Personally, I think I would just strip down to my skivies in the kitchen and hose myself down with the spray nozzle thingy--it's just the right height (no painful reaching) and the water pressure is just enough to be effective without much body trauma. If you feel like you're getting too stinky with the matted hair, try Febreeze :)
No, I'm not being sarcastic--I'm speaking from the perspective of having been laid up myself at times (thanks to chronic illness) and having a limited range of motion because of it.
I'll be thinking of you! Hugs (from the left side)
Lauren
Great post! Hysterical.
Have you considered milking this injury a little more than necessary to take advantage of the family? heeheehee...
I found you through BlogExplosion, and I hope you recover soon!
I have not broken any ribs (a couple toes, but no ribs), I hope that you have a speedy recovery. I know it hurts to laugh, but please know that your post made me chuckle.
Toes, like ribs, should be guarded by electric fence from all children (husbands included) as they tend to forget that they hurt and step on them.
Ok,
I did the dirty underwear bit once!
Didn't I?
Chench, Jill is the drama queen. :)
Eric (Jill's husband)
Thanks for stopping by and your wonderful comments!
So sorry to hear about you. Glad you still have a good sense of humor, I guess that must be one of the few things still under your control :-) Hope you feel better soon!
The good news is that bones knit and the pain goes away. I've broken 36 bones in 43 years. Supposively the bone is stronger after the break than before if that is an consolation. This raises the question of, "shall we just break them all?" Ah, no thanks! :) Keep getting better every day. Cheers, -Walter
Teeheeeheee @ Eric, but I thought Jill was so laid back and easy going hahahhaha Not a drop of drama queen in that woman heheheheheh.
Love yeah jill LOL
Oh, my gosh, I knew you said you were injured , but I had no idea, so badly...I'll read below for the details. Also, I'll get your wallet in the mail next week--maybe that will cheer you up!
Kathie
Well at least you're find the humor in it. I hope you heal quickly, so, you know, you can get back to touching everyone else's dirty underware. :)
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. Yours is lovely, and very clever! Enjoyed my visit here today!!
I'm so glad you can laugh in the face of injury. It's a sign of impending recovery. Godspeed to your endorphins & to you.
Thank you, thank you, thank you all. Man, I just need to come here and re-read my comments whenever I need a boost!
Ignore my husband, though. I most certainly am NOT a drama queen. No, sir! I am simply an effusive, passionate, never-thinks-before-she-speaks, large personality in a small body. With ever so slight a touch of drama.
A REAL drama queen would have started giving instructions for her last will and testament on the way into the ambulance.
A REAL drama queen would have started reciting Hamlet's soliloquy in the E.R.
A REAL drama queen would have hastened to her blog and railed against her husband for not having painted the garage steps fluorescent orange with black stripes, and not having had the garage floor carpeted with a 2-inch pad and luxury wall-to-wall shag, all for her comfort and safety.
I am not a drama queen. I am simply a clutz. :oP
You know when you hear a really good joke.. one that makes you laugh inside and out? Well reading your blogs makes me feel the immense need to share what I just read with others because the world would be a better place with a few more smiles and laughs in it.
Thanks for your talent!
Wow, thanks for that, "anonymous." You've brightened my day. :)
Shalom Jill:
I found your blog through BlogExplosion, and have really enjoyed what I've read so far, (which isn't much.). I hope your injury heals quickly. The good news is that you have a loving family, and especially a loving husband to take care of you when you're down. You're really blessed.
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