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Tuesday, October 25, 2005Afraid of FallingSad, but true. My accident on (off, really) the garage steps has left me psychologically damaged. Every time I stumble or trip or "almost" fall, I burst into tears. The other day, I smashed my thumb in the pantry door (okay, not "smashed," exactly...), and I burst into tears. Not because it hurt, but because the pain took me right back to the pain of my fall. It's ridiculous, really. But at least I'm aware of it. Somebody tell me that it'll wear off -- that I'll stop crying every time my clumsiness rears its head. As it is, I'm feeling a bit, um, "emotionally fragile." But hey, at least I can sleep on my right side again. You have no idea how happy that makes me. And I've got Something Big and Important I need to write today, which means I won't be in danger of stumbling or falling (unless, like dear Cheez Weezil, I suddenly fall off of my computer chair). Plus, there's a ton of leftover birthday cake from yesterday (daughter Rachel turned ten!). I'm rather proud of myself for concocting a lovely, four-layer cake with lemon filling. Somehow, birthday cake is the ultimate comfort food. Well, besides gourmet chocolate. And homemade macaroni and cheese with ketchup. And my mom's breaded pork chops with mashed potatoes and tomato gravy. And cinnamon toast. I think somebody had better feed me. |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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6of my readers are feeling chatty:
Oh, oh, oh...I eat macaroni and cheese with ketchup too. I thought I was weird! My dh looks at me kind of strangely every time I reach for the ketchup bottle. You've made me quite hungry!!!
You will eventually get over it! you are a bit dun shy right now, one you remember the pain, 2 its still tender and well you worry whether its subconsciously or not.
Remember when Jesse broke both his arms, well he is back to normal and doing all the same stupid things that caused it in the first place LOL.
Hang in there you will recover fully, physically and mentally from this!
Jillian here are some (((((hugs))))).Hope you are doing better soon.
I have some days too when the tears just flow, but I didn't fall. They just come...I know with me it is my age...just turned 40-something. I thought about my occupation the other day, and I don't like it anymore. I thought, if I have to do this another 20-some years, you can visit me in the looney bin. My point is (I think I had one somewhere): it might not come from the fall that you start crying, maybe just something that is bothering you very deep down...but then again, I am not a therapist :lol:...
I know how you feel. I fell down steps and broke my elbow about six years ago and for years, everytime I went to step down the stairs, I'd literally have a flashback that took my breath away...Your post made me realize I don't feel like that to that degree any more...I can't pinpoint when it changed, though...hang in there.
DID THE WALLET ARRIVE???
You will get over it for the most part, but from time to time something will trigger the memory, and you will cringe and shudder.
Years ago, I took on a new job, and we held party for the guy I was replacing. A girl there was trying to open a can of lemonade mix with a screwdriver. Being the helpful sort I am, I took over, and was doing quite well. I was using the shaft of the screwdriver pulling it toward me to loosen the lid.
I was most of the way done when the shaft slipped and I slammed my finger right into the jagged metal of the lid.
I received a rather wicked cut than began bleeding profusely. I was rushed to the emergency room where it took 9 stitches to close it.
I was able to return to the party in time to make "pink lemonade" jokes.
That was over 15 years ago, and I still makes me shudder when I think about it.
Needless to say, I dont care for pink lemonade.
CheezWeezil (in disguise)
Periodic
I fell onto a wrought iron railing and broke several ribs about 3 years ago, so I know EXACTLY the misery (and subsequent PTSD/fear of falling,whatever you want to call it) you are going through. My doctor told me that when she was interning, she used to assume people were "drug seeking" coming into the ER and asking for better pain relief after broken ribs. She had since learned MUCH better, through her own family and medical experience, so she was quite sympathetic when she heard that the (INTERN-heh) in the ER had given me a script for Ibuprophen and sent me home, saying I could go to work the next day if I felt like it (I didn't, strangely enough)
This was also MY second ride in an ambulance, ever (being ON the stretcher, that is)You are quite right about the lack of shock absorbency. I had to sleep on the couch for about a month, because I could feel my rib pieces grating against one another when I slept in our waterbed. BLEH! Another thing you get to look forward to is being able to predict things. Rain, Snow, heavy humidity. Believe it! I still can. My side is aching in sympathy for you as I write!! I hope you feel better soon...take your pain meds early and often!
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