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Thursday, July 21, 2005The Endless Sucking of Creative EnergyThere is something less than inspiring about the mundane tasks of motherhood. I don't mean to whine -- but I will, anyway. Just a tiny bit. It's the repetitive tasks that do me in -- the laundry, the cleaning-up-the-kitchen-after-every-stinkin'-meal -- basically, the brain-slurping stuff that most women can do while half-asleep. If my mind is a scythe, then my daily duties are a 2000-acre wheat field that has dulled the scythe beyond recognition. So, I have to battle uphill from the moment my first finger hits the keyboard. In a perfect world, I'd have a fulltime housekeeper and a sweet, Hispanic woman to come in and make authentic Mexican lunches for us every day. Well, let's be honest -- I wouldn't really do that. There's a part of me that prides herself in running a household and keeping it reasonably clean. (My husband and I have different definitions of the word "reasonable," but that is another story altogether.) The real kicker, of course, is when I'm finally going somewhere -- finally actually WRITING something worth keeping -- and there comes a little knock on my office door. Moments later, in walks the most adorable six-year-old on the face of this earth, thumbie firmly entrenched in his mouth, tattered blankie dragging behind him. "Mommy, I'm in the mood for a snuggle." What self-respecting author wouldn't drop everything in a heartbeat? My little guy isn't going to waltz in with a thumbie and a request for a snuggle forever. These are the golden moments that need to be grabbed -- or they are forever lost. It's the way he says it, too -- I think he's going to be a writer some day (or maybe a politician). He doesn't come in whining, or pouting, or saying something less-than-intelligent like, "Mommy I'm bored." No, indeed. He comes in and says, rather plaintively, "Mommy, I'm in the mood for a snuggle." He doesn't "want to snuggle" or "need a snuggle." He's IN THE MOOD for a snuggle. So, we snuggle. After a while, if I'm in the midst of some great inspiration, I may start to type a bit, my arms reaching around his warmth and my chin colliding with the top of his skull. His head tends to bob against my shoulder when I do this, though...and he invariably starts wriggling. Snuggling doesn't mesh well with moments of inspiration. Still, I'll take my snuggle, thank you. In the end, when the snuggling is over and my office is free of anyone under four feet tall, I find that the act of snuggling has somehow had the same, energy-sucking effect that the laundry and the lunch preparation has. It's almost as though I've got two separate brains; one for mommyhood and one for writing. When I disengage the writing brain in order to engage the other one, it's often impossible to re-engage afterward. I wish I had the energy to write at night, after the wee ones are sleeping. But I can't function after 8:00 -- it just doesn't happen. And besides -- I would like to spend at least a little time with the love of my life. That's enough rambling for today. I'm still seriously considering -- planning, really -- the online fantasy serial. I'll just have to be sure to schedule in a good "snuggle time" each day before I start writing, so that I can keep up with the story. Until next time! Labels: writing |
About Me
I am: Mother to five stunningly individualistic children... Writer of young adult fantasy... Passionate advocate for Women At Home... Madly in love with my husband... In need of Organic Gourmet Chocolate on a regular basis. I've got a Paypal account if you'd like to contribute to the cause....
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4of my readers are feeling chatty:
I'd take those snuggles...AND the housekeeper!
I may identify more with this entry than with anything you have ever written... sigh...
Found your site over at http://spaces.msn.com/members/shewoolf/
My daughter is with us every other weekend. She's 4. ("and a half!") Every Friday night she's here she tells me, "I'm gonna wake up real early tomorrow with you Daddy so we can write on the computer together." Most of the time she's up around 6. Just right for walking the dogs with me and then sitting on my lap for my coffee and her tea and writing.
One of my favorite things.
Ken
Ken,
Thanks for visiting! I absolutely love what you've shared here -- precious moments with your little one. You've got a Daddy's heart the size of Texas!
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